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The chart below shows information about the challenges people face when they go to live in other countries. v.1

The chart below shows information about the challenges people face when they go to live in other countries. v. 1
The supplied graph represents data on the challenges people face when they start living in a different country and compares this data based on different age groups. As is presented in the graph, younger people struggle to make new friends while the aged people face difficulty to learn the local language in a new country. As is given in the graph, people from 18-34 years old find it most difficult to make new friends when they start living in a new country. The second most challenging issue they face is the issue of finding a living place. Learning the local language is another problem they face but this is least among the people of this age group. Secondly, among the 35-54 age group, people who go to live in a different country find it most difficult to find places to live. About 36% of people find it difficult to find places to live in while about 35-36% of people find it difficult to learn the local language and to make friends there. Finally, the aged people who are over 55 years old, find it most difficult to learn the language than any other age group. Approximately 54% of aged people face this challenge when they start living in a new country. Among this age group, 22% of people face the living place issue while 23% find it hard to make new friends. In summary, aged people can make friends more easily than the young age group when they start living in a new country while young population finds it easier to learn the loan language than the aged people in a new country.
The supplied graph represents data on the challenges
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people
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face
when they
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start
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living
in a
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different
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country
and compares this data based on
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different
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age
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groups
. As
is presented
in the graph, younger
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people
struggle to
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make
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new
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friends
while the
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aged
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people
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face
difficulty to
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learn
the local
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language
in a
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new
country.

As is
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given
in the graph,
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people
from 18-34 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
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find
it most
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difficult
to
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make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
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friends
when they
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start
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living
in a
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new
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country
. The second most challenging issue they
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face
is the issue of finding a
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living
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place
. Learning the local
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language
is another problem they
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face
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but
this is least among the
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people
of this
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age
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group
.
Secondly
, among the 35-54
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age
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group
,
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people
who go to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
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different
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country
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find
it most
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difficult
to
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find
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places
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. About 36% of
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people
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find
it
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difficult
to
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find
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places
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in while about 35-36% of
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people
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find
it
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difficult
to
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learn
the local
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language
and to
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make
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friends
there.
Finally
, the
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aged
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people
who are over 55 years
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old
,
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find
it most
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difficult
to
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learn
the
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language
than any other
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age
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group
. Approximately 54% of
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aged
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people
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face
this challenge when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
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country
. Among this
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age
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group
, 22% of
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people
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face
the
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living
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place
issue while 23%
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find
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
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make
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new
friends.

In summary,
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aged
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people
can
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make
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friends
more
easily
than the young
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age
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group
when they
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start
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living
in a
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new
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country
while young population
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finds
it easier to
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learn
the loan
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language
than the
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aged
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people
in a
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new
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country
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
96Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS academic The chart below shows information about the challenges people face when they go to live in other countries. v. 1

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
273 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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