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The chart below shows estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender for the year 2000. v.4

The chart below shows estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender for the year 2000. v. 4
The given bar graph shows the illiteracy rates of different regions of the world both for male and female for the year 2000. As is observed from the graph, South Asian, Arab and African countries had a very high rate of illiteracy while this percentage was very low in developed countries as well as in the Latin American countries. Besides, it is also observed that female illiteracy rate was higher than male illiteracy rate in all part of the world. As is presented in the graph, the illiteracy rate among female was higher than male in all parts of the world. The illiteracy rate in South Asian, Arab states and in Sub-Saharan Africa was alarmingly higher than any part of the world. More than 50 female in South Asian and Arab countries were illiterate while this percentage was only 1 in developed countries. Around 30% males were illiterate in these two regions while this percentage was less than 1 in developed countries. The illiteracy rate in Sub-Saharan African countries was similar to the South Asian and Arab countries. East Asia and Oceania had less than 20% illiterate people while this rate was around 10% in Latin America/ Caribbean countries. Finally, in developed countries, most of the people were literate as they had a very small percentage of illiterate people which amounted less than 1%. In summary, the South Asian, Arabian and Sub-Saharan countries had a severe illiteracy rate compared to any part of the world and female illiteracy rate was higher than the male illiteracy rate all over the world.
The
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given
bar graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
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illiteracy
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rates
of
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different
regions of the
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world
both for male and
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female
for the year 2000. As
is observed
from the graph, South Asian, Arab and African
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countries
had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high
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rate
of
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illiteracy
while this
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percentage
was
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very
low in
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developed
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countries
as well
as in the Latin American
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countries
.
Besides
, it is
also
observed that
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female
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illiteracy
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rate
was higher than male
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illiteracy
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rate
in all
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part
of the world.

As
is presented
in the graph, the
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illiteracy
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rate
among
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female
was higher than male in all
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parts
of the
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world
. The
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illiteracy
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rate
in South Asian, Arab states and in Sub-Saharan Africa was
alarmingly
higher than any
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part
of the
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world
. More than 50
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female
in South Asian and Arab
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countries
were
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illiterate
while this
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percentage
was
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only
1 in
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developed
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countries
. Around 30%
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males
were
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illiterate
in these two regions while this
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percentage
was less than 1 in
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developed
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countries
. The
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illiteracy
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rate
in Sub-Saharan African
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countries
was similar to the South Asian and Arab
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countries
. East Asia and Oceania had less than 20%
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illiterate
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people
while this
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rate
was around 10% in Latin America/ Caribbean
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countries
.
Finally
, in
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developed
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countries
, most of the
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people
were literate as they had a
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very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
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percentage
of
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illiterate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
which amounted less than 1%.

In summary, the South Asian, Arabian and Sub-Saharan
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countries
had a severe
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illiteracy
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rate
compared to any
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part
of the
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world
and
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female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illiteracy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
was higher than the male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illiteracy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
all over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
59Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS academic The chart below shows estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender for the year 2000. v. 4

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
260 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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