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The chart below shows estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender for the year 2000. v.3

The chart below shows estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender for the year 2000. v. 3
The given bar chart shows the approximate world illiteracy rates by gender and region for the year 2000. As is observed in the given column graph, in all cases, the illiteracy rate among women was higher than men. Developed countries had almost ignorable illiteracy rate. On the contrary, about half of the population in South Asia, Arab states and Africa were illiterate. The illiteracy rate in Latin America / Caribbean and East Asia / Oceania was only 1 percent (approximately), 10  percent and 14 percent (approximately) respectively considering both male and female. Sub-Saharan Africa, the Arab States and South Asia had rates of approximately 40%, 41% and 45%. Illiterate women were higher than the illiterate men in all the given countries. In the developed countries, the proportion of literacy among men and female was almost similar but the differences increased for Asia, Arab states and Africa. Among the given 6 countries, the South Asian population were far more illiterate than any other country.
The
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given
bar chart
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shows
the approximate world
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illiteracy
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rates
by gender and region for the year 2000. As
is observed
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
column graph, in all cases, the
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illiteracy
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rate
among women was higher than
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men
. Developed
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countries
had almost ignorable
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illiteracy
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rate
.
On the contrary
, about half of the population in South Asia, Arab states and Africa were illiterate.

The
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illiteracy
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rate
in Latin America / Caribbean and East Asia / Oceania was
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only
1 percent (approximately), 10
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
percent and 14 percent (approximately)
respectively
considering both male and female. Sub-Saharan Africa, the Arab States and South Asia had
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rates
of approximately 40%, 41% and 45%. Illiterate women were higher than the illiterate
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men
in all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
countries.

In the developed
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countries
, the proportion of literacy among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and female was almost similar
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but
the differences increased for Asia, Arab states and Africa. Among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
6
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countries
, the South Asian population were far more illiterate than any other
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country
.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS academic The chart below shows estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender for the year 2000. v. 3

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
163 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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