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The chart below shows estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender for the year 2000. v.2

The chart below shows estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender for the year 2000. v. 2
The column graph compares the illiteracy rates between both sexes in six regions of the world in 2000. A quick glance at the diagram reveals that more women were unlettered globally than that of men and the percentages of uneducated people in South Asia, Arab states and Sub-Saharan Africa parts were considerably higher than other parts of the world. As is observed from the illustration, more percentages of women in different regions in the world were illiterate than that of men. Almost all of the citizens in the developed countries were literate in 2000 as the illiteracy rate in these countries was almost nill, 1-2 % to be more precise. The highest rate of illiteracy could be found in South Asia where more than half of women were not educated at all while more than one in every three males was also unschooled. Similar percentages of uneducated males and females could be found in the Arab and Sub-Saharan African regions and in all these regions the percentages of illiterate females were significantly higher than the uneducated males. On the contrary, the percentage of East Asian population who were literate was far higher than that of the South Asian population and yet the percentage of female illiteracy was more than double than that of males. Finally, the Latin America had around 10% unenlightened males and females and the gap between the unlettered males and females in this region was remarkably lower, similar to the developed countries.
The column graph compares the
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illiteracy
rates between both sexes in six
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regions
of the world in 2000. A quick glance at the diagram reveals that more women
were unlettered
globally than that of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and the
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percentages
of uneducated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in South Asia, Arab states and Sub-Saharan Africa parts were
considerably
higher than other parts of the world.

As
is observed
from the illustration, more
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percentages
of women in
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different
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regions
in the world were illiterate than that of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
. Almost
Consider using "all the".
all of the
citizens in the
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developed countries
were literate in 2000 as the
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illiteracy
rate in these countries was almost
Possible spelling mistake found.
nill
, 1-2 % to be more precise. The highest rate of
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illiteracy
could
be found
in South Asia where more than half of women were not educated at all while more than one in every three
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males
was
also
unschooled. Similar
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percentages
of uneducated
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males
and
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females
could
be found
in the Arab and Sub-Saharan African
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regions
and in all these
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regions
the
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percentages
of illiterate
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females
were
significantly
higher than the uneducated
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males
.
On the contrary
, the
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percentage
of East Asian population who were literate was far higher than that of the South Asian population and
yet
the
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percentage
of
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female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illiteracy
was more than double than that of
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males
.
Finally
, the Latin America had around 10% unenlightened
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males
and
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females
and the gap between the unlettered
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males
and
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females
in this
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region
was
remarkably
lower, similar to the
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developed countries
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS academic The chart below shows estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender for the year 2000. v. 2

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
245 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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