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It is more important for school children to learn about their local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.3

It is more important for school children to learn about their local history than world history. v. 3
In the contemporary society much attention is paid to education. Over the years mankind has recognized the need for knowledge of history. Some people think that pupils should learn more about their local history than world history. My view, like many other people, is that it is more rational to study history about yourown town. Many arguments can be found in favour of the view that world history is less important. Firstly, people may never visit countries the history of which they taught while approximately 18-70 years could be spent in home town. Therefore it is necessary to understand what was in the past with this place to understand where it is heading in the future. Besides, to understand, for instance, street and building names, which people see almost every day during their lives, architecture of districts children should learn about their local history. However, this idea cannot go further that being an immature claim because other people think that knowledge of world history helps people to think globally, to think differently. For instance, world history helps to understand why some countries and cities have developed and some have not. This to some extent helps to understand the history of your own region. Moreover, as a rule world history is more interesting and more important because there were critical and famous events in world scale. All things considered, the obvious conclusion to be drawn is that for pupils it is more important to learn about their own towns than world historical events because children should know more about the place where they spend most of their lives.
In the contemporary society much attention
is paid
to education. Over the
years
mankind has recognized the need for knowledge of
history
.
Some
people
think
that pupils should learn more about their local
history
than
world
history
. My view, like
many
other
people
, is that it is more rational to study
history
about
yourown
town.

Many
arguments can
be found
in
favour
of the view that
world
history
is less
important
.
Firstly
,
people
may never visit countries the
history
of which they taught while approximately 18-70 years could
be spent
in home town.
Therefore
it is necessary to
understand
what was in the past with this place to
understand
where it is heading in the future.
Besides
, to
understand
,
for instance
, street and building names, which
people
see
almost every day during their
lives
, architecture of districts children should learn about their local history.

However
, this
idea
cannot go
further
that being an immature claim
because
other
people
think
that knowledge of
world
history
helps
people
to
think
globally, to
think
differently
.
For instance
,
world
history
helps
to
understand
why
some
countries and cities have developed and
some
have not. This to
some
extent
helps
to
understand
the
history
of your
own
region.
Moreover
, as a
rule
world
history
is more interesting and more
important
because
there were critical and
famous
events
in
world
scale.

All things considered, the obvious conclusion to
be drawn
is that for pupils it is more
important
to learn about their
own
towns than
world
historical
events
because
children should know more about the place where they spend most of their
lives
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
The joy of knowing a foreign language is inexpressible. I find it really difficult to express such joy in my mother tongue.
Munia Khan

IELTS academic It is more important for school children to learn about their local history than world history. v. 3

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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