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The map below shows three proposed sites for a new hypermarket (A, B and C) in the city of Pellington. v.2

The map below shows three proposed sites for a new hypermarket (A, B and C) in the city of Pellington. v. 2
The map represents three possible sites (A, B and C) in the city of Pellington for a new hypermarket. A is located in North-West of Pellington, whereas site B and C are sited in a countryside. Site B is in North-East corner of the city of Pellington while, site C is located in the South centre of the city. Looking in details, site A has a railway that passes through the surrounding areas (residential and industrial) and on the east of A has traffic zones. If it is built here, it will be next to residential and industrial areas, thus providing easy access by use of railway for those living on the estate. Meanwhile, site B is located in countryside of Pellington but it has the motorway that connects between industrial areas and countryside. If the hypermarket is built here, it can expect to draw people from industrial complexes by use of motorways. In contrast, site C can be accessed by people from industrial and residential since it is surrounded by all. Also, airport is nearby and the railway and motorway make easy to access to it. Therefore, by building a hypermarket in here would draw the most people.
The map represents three possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
(A, B and C) in the city of
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Pellington
for a new hypermarket.

A
is located
in North-West of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Pellington
, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
site
B and C
are sited
in a countryside.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Site
B is in North-East corner of the city of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Pellington
while,
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site
C
is located
in the South
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
of the city.

Looking in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
site
A has a railway that passes through the surrounding areas (residential and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industrial)
and on the east of A has traffic zones. If it
is built
here, it will be
next
to residential and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industrial
areas,
thus
providing easy access by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of railway for those living on the estate.

Meanwhile,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
site
B
is located
in countryside of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Pellington
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has the motorway that connects between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industrial
areas and countryside. If the hypermarket
is built
here, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
to draw
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industrial
complexes by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of motorways.

In contrast
,
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site
C can
be accessed
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industrial
and residential since it
is surrounded
by all.
Also
, airport is nearby and the railway and motorway
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
easy to access to it.
Therefore
, by building a hypermarket in here would draw the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
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Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS academic The map below shows three proposed sites for a new hypermarket (A, B and C) in the city of Pellington. v. 2

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
199 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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