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The bar chart shows the number of times per week (in 1000s), over 5 weeks, that three computer packages were downloaded from the Internet. v.2

The bar chart shows the number of times per week (in 1000s), over 5 weeks, that three computer packages were downloaded from the Internet. v. 2
The bar chart illustrates the number of times that ActiveX, Java and Net were downloaded from the Internet in five weeks. At first glance, it is evident that Net package had the highest number of downloading times. At the week 1, ActiveX was downloaded approximately 30 times and the figure for Java only had just over 40 times, whereas the number of times downloading Net package was double higher than ActiveX package. The number of times which ActiveX was downloaded gradually decreased to 20 times at the week 2 and around 10 times at the week 3. Conversely, the figure for Java and Net rapidly rose. At the week 4, the number of times downloading Net fell to just under 100 times, whereas the figure for AcitveX started to considerably grow to 40 times and the figure for Java increased steadily. At the week 5, Net package was downloaded at near 120 times, significantly increasing. The figures for ActiveX and Java continuously rose to 50 times and over 80 times respectively.
The bar chart illustrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
that ActiveX,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Java
and Net were
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downloaded
from the Internet in five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weeks
. At
first
glance, it is evident that Net
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
package
had the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of downloading times.

At the
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week
1, ActiveX was
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downloaded
approximately 30
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times
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Java
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, whereas the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
downloading Net
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
package
was double higher than ActiveX
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
package
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
which ActiveX was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
downloaded
gradually
decreased to 20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
2 and around 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
at the
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week
3.
Conversely
, the
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figure
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Java
and Net
rapidly
rose.

At the
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week
4, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
downloading Net fell to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, whereas the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
AcitveX
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
considerably
grow to 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Java
increased
steadily
. At the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
5, Net
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
package
was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
downloaded
at near 120
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times
,
significantly
increasing. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
for ActiveX and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Java
continuously
rose to 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
and over 80
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
respectively
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic The bar chart shows the number of times per week (in 1000s), over 5 weeks, that three computer packages were downloaded from the Internet. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
171 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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