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The bar chart below shows the number of employees from the European Union in the United States (1999). v.4

The bar chart below shows the number of employees from the European Union in the United States (1999). v. 4
The bar graph gives information about science and technology employees born in the EU worked in the US in the year 1999. From the graph, it is apparent that among the EU countries, the employees of British were the largest with 28, 000 employees in the US in 1999, followed by 25, 000 German employees. Compared to the British and the Germans, employees who were born in France and Italy were 3000 and 4000, respectively. Other EU countries in total had lower staff than those of Britain and Germany, but more employees than those of Italy and France in the US in 1999. Overall, the English-speaking countries. great Britain, had the highest employment rate in the US in 1999, in contrast to France which had the lowest employment rates among four important developed countries in the UE.
The bar graph gives information about science and technology
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employees
born in the EU worked in the US in the year 1999.

From the graph, it is apparent that among the EU
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
of British were the largest with 28, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
in the US in 1999, followed by 25, 000 German
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
. Compared to the British and the Germans,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
who
were born
in France and Italy were 3000 and 4000,
respectively
. Other EU
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countries
in total had lower staff than those of Britain and Germany,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
than those of Italy and France in the US in 1999.

Overall
, the English-speaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Capitalize specific, well-defined geographical regions: "Great Britain"
great Britain
, had the highest employment rate in the US in 1999,
in contrast
to France which had the lowest employment rates among four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the UE.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS academic The bar chart below shows the number of employees from the European Union in the United States (1999). v. 4

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
137 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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