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The bar chart below shows the main reasons for students choosing to study at a particular university in the UK in 1985 and 2005. v.2

The bar chart below shows the main reasons for students choosing to study at a particular university in the UK in 1985 and 2005. v. 2
The graph illustrates what are the reasons for students to make a choice about studying at a specific college in British in the years 1985 and 2005. The 1985 to 2005 period witnessed a remarkable increase in the percentage of sport, from 12% in the first year to 27% in 2005. As for the trend for teaching, it also shared an upward tendency which rose from around 22% to 26% in the time frame. By the contrast, the number of home and resources both showed a downward tendency. One for home experienced a 7% diminish and ended up with 10%, while the figure for resources decreased by 4%. Generally speaking, lots of students would always consider the resources of the school first when they chose to study. Moreover, more and more students started to notice about sports than teaching in 2005, while the small group of students would be worried about the distance between home and the university.
The graph illustrates what are the reasons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a choice about studying at a specific college in British in the years 1985 and 2005.

The 1985 to 2005 period witnessed a remarkable increase in the percentage of sport, from 12% in the
first
year to 27% in 2005. As for the trend for teaching, it
also
shared an upward tendency which rose from around 22% to 26% in the time frame. By the contrast, the number of home and resources both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a downward tendency. One for home experienced a 7% diminish and ended up with 10%, while the figure for resources decreased by 4%.

Generally
speaking, lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would always consider the resources of the school
first
when they chose to study.
Moreover
, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to notice about sports than teaching in 2005, while the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would
be worried
about the distance between home and the university.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS academic The bar chart below shows the main reasons for students choosing to study at a particular university in the UK in 1985 and 2005. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
158 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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