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Some people think that it is vital to donate money in constructing to new railway line, while others believe that improving the existing one is better. Discuss both the views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people think that it is vital to donate money in constructing to new railway line, while others believe that improving the existing one is better. v. 2
In the salad days of the millennium the society is polarised almost equally, regarding the notion whether it is substantial to spend enormous amount of capital in developing the new railway tracks for swift movement of trains between two regions or beside, the monetary funds which is provided by government should be utilized in improving the existing transportation system. Different people have the distinct mindset. The following paragraph would shed light on both the view before giving the final verdict. To commence with the first notion, there are myriad of things to be shared in its favor. First and foremost, with the evolution in technology and modern engineering, certain marvels provided the world to commute between two places which are distant in no time. As a result of Tesla founder and Managing Director, " Alon Musk" had invented a new technology known as Hyperloop which runs on a specialized track in enclosed tunnels. Secondly, there is an essential need of such capital to be invested which in turn benefits the mammoth population of the country. Consequently, travel would be completed in less time and it also proves to be convenient, comfortable and safe. Shifting towards the second school of thought, it is also true that masses won' t be able to travel with these upcoming technologies because rather they would be extravagant. Hence, the law enforcement agency should plan for a backup options as motorways which is the backbone of any nation. Not only metropolitan cities are connected with the highway, but also small towns are joined. Therefore, the government should spend funds in building smooth roads equipped with dazzling street lamps. Moreover, enhancement should be enforced to upgrade the government buses so each individual find the seat comfortable with the meliorate facility and the discovery of routes must be carried out. In conclusion, there are many supporters who state that investing in new technologies sound rubbish to them and they are only satisfied with modern state of art improvement but my argument proves that ameliorate version of transport is far best to travel as it is less time-consuming. Some people think that it is vital to donate money in constructing to new railway line, while others believe that improving the existing one is better. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.
In the salad days of the millennium the society is
Possible spelling mistake. 'polarised' is British English.
polarised
almost
equally
, regarding the notion whether it is substantial to spend enormous amount of capital in developing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
railway
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tracks
for swift movement of trains between two regions or beside, the monetary funds which
is provided
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
be utilized
in improving the existing transportation system.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have the distinct mindset. The following paragraph would shed light on both the view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
giving the final verdict.

To commence with the
first
notion, there are myriad of things to
be shared
in its favor.
First
and foremost, with the evolution in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and modern engineering, certain marvels provided the world to commute between two places which are distant in no time.
As a result
of Tesla founder and Managing Director,
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
;
Possible spelling mistake found.
Alon
Possible spelling mistake found.
Musk&quot
; had invented a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
known as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hyperloop
which runs on a specialized
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
in enclosed tunnels.
Secondly
, there is an essential need of such capital to
be invested
which in turn benefits the mammoth population of the country.
Consequently
, travel would
be completed
in less time and it
also
proves to be convenient, comfortable and safe.

Shifting towards the second school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
, it is
also
true that masses
Possible spelling mistake found.
won&
#039; t be able to travel with these upcoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
rather
they would be extravagant.
Hence
, the law enforcement agency should plan for a backup options as motorways which is the backbone of any nation. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
metropolitan cities
are connected
with the highway,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
towns are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should spend funds in building smooth roads equipped with dazzling street lamps.
Moreover
, enhancement should
be enforced
to upgrade the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
buses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
each individual find the seat comfortable with
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'meliorate' is correct. If 'meliorate' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the meliorate
facility and the discovery of routes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be carried
out.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
supporters who state that investing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
sound rubbish to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
satisfied with modern
The phrase 'state of art' is correct if it refers to the condition of art. But, if you mean 'most recent technological development', use the noun "state of the art" or the adjective "state-of-the-art".
state of art
improvement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
my argument proves that ameliorate version of transport is far best to travel as it is less time-consuming.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is vital to donate money in constructing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
railway line, while others believe that improving the existing one is better. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS academic Some people think that it is vital to donate money in constructing to new railway line, while others believe that improving the existing one is better. v. 2

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
383 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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