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The pie charts below show responses by teachers of foreign languages in Britain to a survey concerning why their students are learning a foreign language. The first chart shows the main reason for learning a foreign language. The second chart shows how many teachers felt that there has been a recent change in the reason. v.3

The pie charts below show responses by teachers of foreign languages in Britain to a survey concerning why their students are learning a foreign language. The first chart shows the main reason for learning a foreign language. The second chart shows how many teachers felt that there has been a recent change in the reason. v. 3
The first pie chart outlines the primary reasons for the pupil to learn a second language while the second pie chart shows the changes in these purposes based on the responses of language teachers in Britain. Generally speaking, travel, job and business are the primary objectives for students to learn a foreign language and property purchasing and maintaining social contacts are two aims which inspired an increasing number of students to learn a second language. The first pie chart reveals that almost one-third of foreign language learners in Britain enrolled in second language learning classes to be able to travel. Just over one-quarter of them learn it for professional purposes. Interestingly, 19% of them learn it to buy property overseas. Only one out of 20 students showed general interests while 14% of them aim for skill development and to maintain social contacts.   The least percentage, 3% to be exact, were motivated to learn a foreign language because of their foreign partners. The second pie chart presents the ratio of a recent increase in foreign language learners in Britain and it is obvious that property-owning and career objective were the two primary reasons for this surge. 19% escalation was noted for both of these purposes. Foreign partners, self-development, travel, general interests each contributed to 3 to 6 per cent proliferation while social interaction contributed to a 15% increase of foreign language learners according to the teachers.
The
first
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pie
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chart
outlines the primary reasons for the pupil to
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learn
a second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
while the second
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pie
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chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in these purposes based on the responses of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
teachers in Britain.
Generally
speaking, travel, job and business are the primary objectives for students to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
and property purchasing and maintaining social contacts are two aims which inspired an increasing number of students to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a second language.

The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
reveals that almost one-third of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
learners in Britain enrolled in second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
learning classes to be able to travel.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
over one-quarter of them
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learn
it for professional purposes.
Interestingly
, 19% of them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
it to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
property overseas.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
one out of 20 students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
general interests while 14% of them aim for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
development and to maintain social contacts.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
The least percentage, 3% to be exact,
were motivated
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
partners.

The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
presents the ratio of a recent increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
learners in Britain and it is obvious that property-owning and career objective were the two primary reasons for this surge. 19% escalation
was noted
for both of these purposes.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Foreign
partners, self-development, travel, general interests each contributed to 3 to 6 per cent proliferation while social interaction contributed to a 15% increase of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
learners according to the teachers.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic The pie charts below show responses by teachers of foreign languages in Britain to a survey concerning why their students are learning a foreign language. The first chart shows the main reason for learning a foreign language. The second chart shows how many teachers felt that there has been a recent change in the reason. v. 3

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
236 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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