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Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.35

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. with this statement? v. 35
Fast and safe transportation system and improved communication are two important aspects of the development of a country. Every government wants its citizens to commute safely and faster while the trade and business also depends on a solid transportation system. Thus when the question arises whether a government should focus on improving its railways or roads, people seems like have divided opinions. I personally agree that a government should spend more money on railways system as it is better to develop the railway transpiration system than developing roads. Fast of all railways offers safe commuting both for the citizens and traders. The numbers of road accidents and casualties road vehicles causes in many countries are far more than that of accidents in railway system. Thus investing more on a safe way of commuting is a much more prudent idea. Rails cause comparatively less environmental damage while the road vehicles are the main reason for increasing pollution around the world. Second, rails can carry hundreds of people and several tones of goods while road transports can carry only a few people or fewer amounts of products at a time. Some shuttle trains are many times faster than that of private cars and public buses. Thus improved railways would save peoples’ valuable time every day. Thirdly, rail lines are usually away from the main cities and that is why some busy cities have no other alternatives than to improve their rail transportation system. Express trains can reduce the congestions in many cities and thus investing more money to improve the railways is the only possible solutions in cities where a large number of people live in. In conclusion, I believe that a government, either in a developed or developing country, should invest on a safer, faster and more reliable transportation system and railways thus should always get priority over the roads
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Fast
and safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
communication are two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspects of the development of a country. Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
wants its citizens to commute
safely
and faster while the trade and business
also
depends on a solid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
when the question arises whether a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should focus on improving its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
seems
like have divided opinions. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should spend more money on
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "railways'" or "railway's"?
railways
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
as it is better to develop the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
transpiration
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
than developing roads.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Fast
of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
offers safe commuting both for the citizens and traders. The numbers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
accidents and casualties
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
vehicles causes in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries are far more than that of accidents in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Thus
investing more on a safe way of commuting is a much more prudent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. Rails cause
comparatively
less environmental damage while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
vehicles are the main reason for increasing pollution around the world.

Second, rails can carry hundreds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and several tones of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
transports can carry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
or fewer amounts of products at a time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
shuttle trains are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times faster than that of private cars and public buses.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Thus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
would save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples’
valuable time every day.
Thirdly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rail
lines are
usually
away from the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and
that is
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
have no other alternatives than to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
. Express trains can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the congestions in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thus
investing more money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possible solutions in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
where
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in.

In conclusion
, I believe that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, either in a developed or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing country
, should invest on a safer, faster and more reliable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thus
should always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
priority over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
45Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS academic Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. with this statement? v. 35

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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