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Your parents will be celebrating their 40th anniversary next month. You are planning a big celebration, but you are not sure how to make the occasion really memorable. v.1

Your parents will be celebrating their 40th anniversary next month. You are planning a big celebration, but you are not sure how to make the occasion really memorable. v. 1
Dear Amelia, Hope you are doing fine. It was so delightful to hear that you had a memorable tour to Europe and I'm sure that would revive you to the fullest. I'm writing to seek your advice regarding my plan to celebrate my parents 40th marriage anniversary. I'm sure you can help me make this a grand celebration. Spending 40 years together is a great reason to celebrate and my parents have shown a true testament of what a marriage really is and I am absolutely blessed to be a part of this remarkable family. 4 decades with blessing, love, affection, true commitment and care is absolutely remarkable. I only wish I would be that fortunate! As I want to make this event unforgettable, I need your help. 40th anniversary, also known as the ruby anniversary, should be a joyous occasion filled with family and friends who’ve been a part of your lives over the years. I know how famous you are making such an occasion a success and despite some superficial ideas, I am not sure how to make arrangement for such a monumental occasion which is on 24th March. I hope you can meet me someday to discuss and finalise the planning. I can come over to your office to have the conversation at your convenience. Do inform me when you can meet. Hope to meet you soon. Warm wishes, Karina
Dear Amelia,

Hope you are doing fine. It was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
delightful to hear that you had a memorable tour to Europe and I'm sure that would revive you to the fullest. I'm writing to seek your advice regarding my plan to celebrate my parents 40th
Wedding anniversaries are the proper term to describe the anniversary of the day of a wedding.
marriage
anniversary. I'm sure you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
this a grand celebration.

Spending 40 years together is a great reason to celebrate and my parents have shown a true testament of what a marriage
really
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
is and
I am
absolutely
blessed to be a part of this remarkable family. 4 decades with blessing,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, affection, true commitment and care is
absolutely
remarkable. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
wish I would be that fortunate!

As I want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
unforgettable, I need your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
. 40th anniversary,
also
known as the ruby anniversary, should be a joyous occasion filled with family and friends who’ve been a part of your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
over the years. I know how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
you are making such an occasion a success and despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
superficial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, I am not sure how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
arrangement for such a monumental occasion which is on 24th March.

I hope you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
me someday to discuss and
Possible spelling mistake. 'finalise' is British English.
finalise
the planning.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
over to your office to have the conversation at your convenience. Do inform me when you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
.

Hope to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Warm wishes,

Karina
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS letter Your parents will be celebrating their 40th anniversary next month. You are planning a big celebration, but you are not sure how to make the occasion really memorable. v. 1

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
232 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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