Dear Sir or Madam,
My name is John Desuja and I am working for this company for approximately 2 decades. I am writing to express my concerns in relation to the current scenario of low staff retention in our company, especially with regard to younger and relatively new recruits. I would like to share my ideas to improve the retention rate.
One of the main reason behind this high attrition rate is the lack of opportunities in terms of professional advancement, according to those who left our company during the last two years, which I think should be well taken care of. A team of experts may think of different strategies towards this, which should bring out programs to enhance skills, providing different job titles and look into the promotional aspects for young employees.
Another important reason, which one of our employees shared with me at an exit interview, is the dearth of open communication between the management and the workforce, which needs to be improved by providing them with a platform to air their concerns and suggestions, and ensuring that these are well-acted upon. Furthermore, the work-life balance of the employees may be observed closely for betterment.
Finally, I would like to suggest that appreciation of work on a regular basis can also work magic.
I look forward to a positive step in this direction to improve employee retention in our company.
Yours faithfully,
John Desuja
Dear Sir or Madam,
My name is John  
Desuja and
 I am working for this  
company
 for approximately 2 decades. I am writing to express my concerns in relation to the  
current
 scenario of low staff retention in our  
company
,  
especially
 with regard to younger and  
relatively
 new recruits. I would like to share my  
ideas
 to  
improve
 the retention rate.
One of the main reason behind this high attrition rate is the lack of opportunities in terms of professional advancement, according to those who  
left
 our  
company
 during the last two years, which I  
think
 should be well taken care of. A team of experts may  
think
 of  
different
 strategies towards this, which should bring out programs to enhance  
skills
, providing  
different
 job titles and look into the promotional aspects for young employees.
Another  
important
 reason, which one of our employees shared with me at an exit interview, is the dearth of open communication between the management and the workforce, which needs to be  
improved
 by providing them with a platform to air their concerns and suggestions, and ensuring that these are well-acted upon.  
Furthermore
, the work-life balance of the employees may  
be observed
  closely
 for betterment. 
Finally
, I would like to suggest that appreciation of work on a regular basis can  
also
 work magic.
I look forward to a  
positive
 step in this direction to  
improve
 employee retention in our  
company
.
Yours  
faithfully
,
John  
Desuja
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes