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Your friend recently moved to a new home and you would like to give him a present for the house. Write a letter to your friend

Your friend recently moved to a new home and you would like to give him a present for the house. Write a letter to your friend 0Aa9O
Dear Manish, I was very happy to hear that you have bought a new house in Mohali. Unfortunately, I will not be able to visit you for another three months as my company is sending me for a ceritificate course to the Canada. I have bought a set of 3 HD cameras for your new home, which I will be shipping by FedEx courier service. I really wanted to buy something useful for your new home and as ther are too many choices these days in the market, I was very confused. Then my mother suggested me to gift you these surveillance cameras. These are three cameras and you can get them installed in different areas of tour home so that all sides are covered. These have the installation box and a manual with full instructions, so any electrician can do the fittings. Nowadays, crime is on the rise and such security measures have become a need of every household. In our street almost every house has these cameras installed and so these act as deterrent for potential criminals. I will be shipping them today itself, so you will be getting them within a day or two. Once again congratulating you on buying a bee house and may this house bring a lot of happiness in your life. Yours lovingly, Bhavneet Singh
Dear
Possible spelling mistake found.
Manish
,

I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
happy to hear that you have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mohali
. Unfortunately, I will not be able to visit you for another three months as my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
is sending me for a
Possible spelling mistake found.
ceritificate
course to the Canada. I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
a set of 3 HD
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
for your new home, which I will be shipping by FedEx courier service.

I
really
wanted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
something useful for your new home and as
Possible spelling mistake found.
ther are
too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
choices these days in the market, I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
confused. Then my mother suggested me to gift you these surveillance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
. These are three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
and you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
them installed in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
areas of tour home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that all sides
are covered
. These have the installation box and a manual with full instructions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
any electrician can do the fittings.

Nowadays, crime is on the rise and such security measures have become a need of every household. In our street almost every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
has these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
installed and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
these act as deterrent for potential criminals. I will be shipping them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
itself,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
you will be getting them within a day or two.

Once again congratulating you on buying a bee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
and may this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
happiness in your life.

Yours
lovingly
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Bhavneet
Singh
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IELTS letter Your friend recently moved to a new home and you would like to give him a present for the house. Write a letter to your friend

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
221 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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