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Your friend is moving to your neighborhood and asks for some information about the local schools. Write a letter to your friend about the following: -Describe the neighborhood and local schools-Talk about one school that you think would be good for his/her v.2

Your friend is moving to your neighborhood and asks for some information about the local schools. Write a letter to your friend about the following: -Describe the neighborhood and local schools-Talk about one school that you think would be good for his/her v. 2
Dear John, I am writing in response to your queries of local schools of Dubai and residential experience of the city. First, please accept my heartiest congratulations on your new role, owing to which you are moving from the UK to UAE. As a resident of UAE, I can assure you that you will enjoy the adopted home which is a most advanced nation in the entire Middle East. Let me explain to you that the densely diverse neighbourhood in the world with nationals from almost 196 countries are living together in various residential communities. So, you expect to experience the various culture, food and traditions. There are plenty of schooling options available as all the recognized educational chains have opened their branches in the UAE. As a result, you can let your children pursue their academic qualification in renowned institutions. I would like to suggest you enrol your kids in the GEMS school because they are following the International Syllabus and most of their teachers are European. Furthermore, GEMS have multiple branches all over the UAE so you can choose the location of school as per the suitability of transportation. Consequently, your kids would not have an issue in shifting the school. Please feel free to get in touch if you need any further information Yours truly,
Dear John,

I am writing in response to your queries of local schools of Dubai and residential experience of the city.
First
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
accept my heartiest congratulations on your new role, owing to which you are moving from the UK
A determiner is probably missing here: "to the UAE".
to UAE
. As a resident
A determiner is probably missing here: "of the UAE".
of UAE
, I can assure you that you will enjoy the adopted home which is a most advanced nation in the entire Middle East.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
to you that the
densely
diverse
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
in the world with nationals from almost 196 countries are living together in various residential communities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
to experience the various culture, food and traditions. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of schooling options available as all the recognized educational chains have opened their branches in the UAE.
As a result
, you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
your children pursue their academic qualification in renowned institutions.

I would like to suggest you enrol your kids in the GEMS school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are following the International Syllabus and most of their teachers are European.
Furthermore
, GEMS have multiple branches all over the UAE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
you can choose the location of school as per the suitability of transportation.
Consequently
, your kids would not have an issue in shifting the school.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
feel free to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in touch if you need any
further
information

Yours
truly
,
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Do you know what a foreign accent is? It’s a sign of bravery.
Amy Chua

IELTS letter Your friend is moving to your neighborhood and asks for some information about the local schools. Write a letter to your friend about the following: -Describe the neighborhood and local schools-Talk about one school that you think would be good for his/her v. 2

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
218 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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