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Your friend is coming to stay in your neighborhood. He has asked some information about the school. - Describe the school- Give your opinion- Why his/her children would like it v.2

Your friend is coming to stay in your neighborhood. He has asked some information about the school. - Describe the school- Give your opinion- Why his/her children would like it v. 2
Dear Tejpal, Hope you are doing great. I am glad to hear that you are coming in my city to live in my vicinity, surely, we will have a lot fun. I am writing this letter to give you the required information about school in my area. Good news is that I have found a renowned school names ' BSM Model' , which is not only famous for its world class education standards, but also known for facilities and amenities being offered by this institution to students. Last year, 250 students cracked IIT and MBBS entrance exams from this school, which is a benchmark performance. As per my opinion, this school would be best option for your kids, as this school affiliated under CBSE board and considering your children already studying under CBSE board, so it won' t me much hassle for them to switch school. In addition to it, this school is only 4km far from the place, where you are going to stay. Therefore, there will be no so much commuting on daily basis for children. I am sure that your younger child Ajay would love this school because this school organize many sports events including table tennis, which is favorite sport of Ajay. Hope, you would be happy with my choice. Looking forward to see you. Let me know if anything else required from my end. Best Regards, Manpreet
Dear
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tejpal
,

Hope you are doing great. I am glad to hear that you are
The words "come in" and "come to" have different meanings. "Come in my office" means "have an orgasm in my office." "Come to" or "Come into" means "enter." Did you mean "come to" or "come into"?
coming in
my city to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in my vicinity,
surely
, we will have
If you mean a great quantity, use "a lot of fun"?
a lot fun
. I am writing this letter to give you the required information about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in my area.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Good
news is that I have found a renowned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
names ' BSM
Possible spelling mistake found.
Model&
#039;
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
which is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
for its world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
education standards,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
known for facilities and amenities
being offered
by this institution to students. Last year, 250 students cracked IIT and
Possible spelling mistake found.
MBBS
entrance exams from this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, which is a benchmark performance. As per my opinion, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
would
A determiner is probably missing here: "be the best".
be best
option for your kids, as this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
affiliated under CBSE board and considering your children already studying under CBSE board,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it
Possible spelling mistake found.
won&
#039; t me much hassle for them to switch school.

In addition
to it, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "4 km"
4km
far from the place, where you are going to stay.
Therefore
, there will be no
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much commuting on daily basis for children. I am sure that your younger child Ajay would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
organize
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
including table tennis, which is favorite sport of Ajay.

Hope, you would be happy with my choice. Looking forward to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
you.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
me know if anything else required from my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

Best Regards,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Manpreet
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS letter Your friend is coming to stay in your neighborhood. He has asked some information about the school. - Describe the school- Give your opinion- Why his/her children would like it v. 2

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
231 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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