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Your family is going to move to another town. Write a letter to the Principal of a local school asking if they will accept your son. Describe his academic achievements and scope of interests

Dear Madam, I am Riffat Shahee and I am writing this letter in connection with my interest to get a admission for my 8 years son in your reputable school. Currently I am in Karachi and going to move to Lahore, as my hospital (Ziauddin Hopital) has opened new branch at link road that is why they have transferred me with my family for 4 years. My Son “Yshan” is very intelligent and he very active in class as he is a Class CR. Although he is 8 years old but in pass his grade 5 with 97% mark in class, he always take full marks in mathematics and he has participated from his school in basket ball on regional level and he got winner position too. I prepared him for the grade 6 and his preparation is on 100% from my side, I have a request that you can take his exam for the grade 6 if he will get a good percentage I have request to give him admission in grade 7 other you could enroll him for grade 6. I believe that my son will not letdown me and you will feel proud on him. Your’s sincerely, Mrs. Farrukh
Dear Madam, I am
Possible spelling mistake found.
Riffat
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Shahee and
I am writing this letter in connection with my interest to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
admission for my 8 years son in your reputable school.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Currently
I am in Karachi and going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to Lahore, as my hospital (
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ziauddin
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hopital
) has opened new branch at link road
that is
why they have transferred me with my family for 4 years. My Son “
Possible spelling mistake found.
Yshan
” is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
intelligent and
It seems that a verb is missing.
he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
active in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
as he is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Class
CR. Although he is 8 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in pass his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grade
5 with 97% mark in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, he always
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "takes", "took".
take
full marks in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
mathematics and
he has participated from his school in basket ball on regional
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
level and
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
winner position too. I prepared him for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grade
6 and his preparation is on 100% from my side, I have a request that you can take his exam for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grade
6 if he will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
percentage I have request to give him admission in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grade
7 other you could enroll him for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grade
6. I believe that my son will not letdown me and you will feel proud on him.
Did you mean "Your" or "Yours"?
Your’s
sincerely
, Mrs.
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
Farrukh
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IELTS letter Your family is going to move to another town. Write a letter to the Principal of a local school asking if they will accept your son. Describe his academic achievements and scope of interests

Letter
  American English
1 paragraphs
201 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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