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You would like to participate in a work-related seminar in another country. Write a letter to the person in charge of the seminar and ask for detailed information regarding the dates, program, accommodation and cost.

You would like to participate in a work-related seminar in another country. Write a letter to the person in charge of the seminar and ask for detailed information regarding the dates, program, accommodation and cost. gMed
Dear Sir, I am Rose and I am working for a investment bank and have more than 7years of experience in the industry. I would like to attend the seminar conducted in Paris, France. As it would add more advantage to my career and professional life. However, could you please advise more on the itinerary of the seminar, along with the cost of the seminar, if any. I would also wanted to know when exactly the seminar will take place and the duration, as I need to get the visa and tickets, in addition to accommodation. I really think this seminar in Bloomberg application will boost my future career opportunities and it would an opportunity to earn get involved with various like minded people from the same industry from different countries around the world. Please revert to me on the above mentioned telephone or email, looking forward to hearing from you soon. Your faithfully Rose
Dear Sir,

I am
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Rose and
I am working for
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
investment bank and have more than 7years of experience in the industry.

I would like to attend the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seminar
conducted in Paris, France. As it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
more advantage to my career and professional life.

However
, could you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
advise more on the itinerary of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seminar
, along with the cost of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seminar
, if any.

I would
also
The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: "want"
wanted
to know when exactly the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seminar
will take place and the duration, as I need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the visa and tickets,
in addition
to accommodation.

I
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seminar
in Bloomberg application will boost my future career opportunities and it would an opportunity to earn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved with various
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
like minded
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from the same industry from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries around the world.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
revert to me on the above mentioned telephone or email, looking forward to hearing from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Your
faithfully


Rose
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IELTS letter You would like to participate in a work-related seminar in another country. Write a letter to the person in charge of the seminar and ask for detailed information regarding the dates, program, accommodation and cost.

Letter
  American English
9 paragraphs
154 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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