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You would like to buy some electrical goods at a shop in a nearby town. Write a letter to the shop and ask if they have the things you want or whether they will be able to order them. Ask what the prices are and how long they will be able to hold the goods for you. You should write at least 150 words.

You would like to buy some electrical goods at a shop in a nearby town. Write a letter to the shop and ask if they have the things you want or whether they will be able to order them. Ask what the prices are and how long they will be able to hold the goods for you. Lrrb8
Dear Sir, I am Hiral Gosai from Anand city, I would like to write this letter about enquire of few electrical goods as your shop is very much famous not in your city, Vadodara, but also in our town, by the way I want to but latest model of Sony Bravia LED(4K) TV, CCTV cameras (day & night) with sensor, and Macbook pro (13 inch). I keen to know that Do you have these items in your stock or, if not, Will you be able to order on behalf of me, If you can do so I am very grateful for this. Please also inform me how long you will be keep in store for me, and also know me about their cost. I am asking you all about these because I have checked in my town but I could not found, not even in the reputed shop. It would be very helpful for me, if you can do this favor. I am coming to your town in this weekend, If these stuffs are coming before that then please let me inform, or if not, then please write me back when it will be arrived so I can pick them up from your place, you can also call me on my mobile: 91-123456789. Yours sincerely, Hiral Gosai
Dear Sir,

I am
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hiral
Possible spelling mistake found.
Gosai
from Anand city, I would like to write this letter about
Possible spelling mistake. 'enquire' is British English.
enquire
of few electrical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
as your shop is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
not in your city, Vadodara,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in our town, by the way I want to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
latest model of Sony
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bravia
LED(4K) TV, CCTV cameras (day & night) with sensor, and
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Macbook pro
(
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
13 inch
). I keen to know that Do you have these items in your stock or, if not, Will you be able to order on behalf of me, If you can do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
grateful for this.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
also
inform me how long you will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in store for me, and
also
know me about their cost.

I am asking you all about these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checked
in my town
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I could not
This form is ambiguous and can be used as past tense. Confirm that you are using the intended base form of the main verb after 'to do' as an auxiliary verb..
found
, not even in the reputed shop.

It would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful for me, if you can do this favor. I am coming to your town in this weekend, If these stuffs are coming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
that then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
me inform, or if not, then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
write me back when it will
be arrived
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I can pick them up from your place, you can
also
call me on my mobile: 91-123456789.

Yours
sincerely
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Hiral
Possible spelling mistake found.
Gosai
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IELTS letter You would like to buy some electrical goods at a shop in a nearby town. Write a letter to the shop and ask if they have the things you want or whether they will be able to order them. Ask what the prices are and how long they will be able to hold the goods for you.

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
216 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • You would like to buy some electrical goods at a shop in a nearby town. Write a letter to the shop and ask if they have the things you want or whether they will be able to order them. Ask what the prices are and how long they will be able to hold the goods for you. You should write at least 150 words.