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You would like to buy some electrical goods at a shop in a nearby town. Write a letter to the shop and ask if they have the things you want or whether they will be able to order them. Ask what the prices are and how long they will be able to hold the goods for you.

You would like to buy some electrical goods at a shop in a nearby town. Write a letter to the shop and ask if they have the things you want or whether they will be able to order them. Ask what the prices are and how long they will be able to hold the goods for you. 00LG
Dear sir/madam I am writing this letter to enquire about the availability of latest iPhone models in your shop. iPhone 11 was released last year, it has 126 GB internal storage and I cloud processes. This model is not in stock in the local market. In case of the similar situation, kindly update whether you can the mobile can be pre-ordered. Also, if possible l would like to purchase the silver colour model along with a headset and charger. I would appreciate it if you could forward the price structure for the above mentioned items. Online the price of the mobile is 29, 000 dollars including taxes, but without headphones but they are not providing any information about the manufacturer and dispatch. In case the phone is available now, will it be possible for me to visit the shop on 17 Wednesday (2 days from now) and buy it, If not then how long will you be able to keep the mobile? On the contrary, when will the next shipment of new launch comes in. Hoping for an early respond Kind regards H. F
Dear sir/madam

I am writing this letter to
Possible spelling mistake. 'enquire' is British English.
enquire
about the availability of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
iPhone models in your shop.

iPhone 11
was released
last year, it has 126 GB internal storage and I cloud processes. This model is not in stock in the local market. In case of the similar situation, kindly update whether you can the mobile can be pre-ordered.
Also
, if possible l would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the silver
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
model along with a headset and charger.

I would appreciate it if you could forward the price structure for the above mentioned items. Online the price of the mobile is 29, 000 dollars including taxes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
without headphones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are not providing any information about the manufacturer and dispatch.

In case the phone is available
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, will it be possible for me to visit the shop on 17 Wednesday (2 days from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
) and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it, If not then how long will you be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the mobile?
On the contrary
, when will the
next
shipment of new launch
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
in.

Hoping for
Probably a noun is missing in this part of the sentence.
an early
Did you mean "response"?
respond


Kind regards

H. F
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IELTS letter You would like to buy some electrical goods at a shop in a nearby town. Write a letter to the shop and ask if they have the things you want or whether they will be able to order them. Ask what the prices are and how long they will be able to hold the goods for you.

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
183 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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