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You work for an international company. You have seen an advertisement for a training course which will be useful for your job. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter - [ ] Describe the training course you want to do - [ ] Explain what the company could do to help you - [ ] Say how the course will be useful for your job

You work for an international company. You have seen an advertisement for a training course which will be useful for your job. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter - [ ] Describe the training course you want to do - [ ] Explain what the company could do to help you - [ ] Say how the course will be useful for your job p9k2
Dear Manager, I am Surbhi and working as a Graphic designer in your organisation from last 3 years. A week ago our company organised a development workshop for there employees and there I came across through an advertisement which is of a well reputed organisation, offering the two different training courses, Business management and Data analytics. After having a deep thought into it I decided to go for data analytics course. This is a four weeks course and the timings will be 8am to 12pm. After a research, this course helps me to improve my analytics approach of concepts. It helps me to analyse the market and according to that I can come up with unique and different pitches which can help our organisation to generate more sales. To start this, I need help from the organisation. I request you to change my shift timings as I don’t want to suffer my job responsibilities. Also the course is very expensive so if there is any chance of employee discount then it will help me a lot. This course is very useful for my job. Firstly, it helps me to sharpen my skills. Secondly, it will make my way of thinking approach broad and will be useful in terms of market research. All these factors can help me to make my performance much better than the previous one. Looking for the cooperation from the organisation. Yours faithfully Surbhi
Dear Manager,

I am
Possible spelling mistake found.
Surbhi
and working as a Graphic designer in your
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
from last 3 years. A week ago our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
a development workshop for there employees and there I came across through an advertisement which is of a well reputed
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
, offering the two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
, Business management and Data analytics.

After having a deep
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
into
Consider adding a comma here.
it
I decided to go for data analytics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
. This is a four weeks
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
and the timings will be 8am to 12pm. After a research, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
my analytics approach of concepts. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
me to
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
the market and according to that I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with unique and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
pitches which can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
our
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
to generate more sales.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
this, I need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
from the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
. I request you to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
my shift timings as I don’t want to suffer my job responsibilities.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
if there is any chance of employee discount then it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
me a lot.

This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful for my job.
Firstly
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
me to sharpen my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Secondly
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
my way of thinking approach broad and will be useful in terms of market research. All these factors can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
my performance much better than the previous one.

Looking for the cooperation from the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
.

Yours
faithfully


Possible spelling mistake found.
Surbhi
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IELTS letter You work for an international company. You have seen an advertisement for a training course which will be useful for your job. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter - [ ] Describe the training course you want to do - [ ] Explain what the company could do to help you - [ ] Say how the course will be useful for your job

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
236 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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