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You were doing a short course at another country however you had to leave the course unexpectedly to fly back home

You were doing a short course at another country however you had to leave the course unexpectedly to fly back home PLObB
Dear Madam, I am writing this letter to inform you that i will not be able to continue the course of the History because of my Family issues, I have to go back to my country India immediately. I am pursuing second semester in History in your college and enjoying it a lot. My best time was its exhibition of many artifacts and coins of an Indus civilization as well as Harrapan civilization. I got an opportunity to lead my team. We all had welcomed some well known historans to this event. I had learned a lot which made me more passionate to gain knowledge about history. Unfortunately. My mother suffered a cardiac arrest and had minor heart attack two days before. I am a single child of my parents and there was no one to take care of her as my father is working in some other state. For him it takes time to get a long leave from work. So, i have to leave my course in between and move back to my city. I am was extremely grateful to you for your assistance in studies and it was wonderful being your student. Yours Sincerely, Pawanpreet.
Dear Madam, I am writing this letter to inform you that
Did you mean "I"?
i
will not be able to continue the course of the History
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of my Family issues, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go back to my country India immediately. I am pursuing second semester in History in your college and enjoying it a lot. My best time was its exhibition of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
artifacts and coins of an Indus civilization
as well
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Harrapan
civilization. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
an opportunity to lead my team. We all had welcomed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
well known
Possible spelling mistake found.
historans
to this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
. I had learned a lot which made me more passionate to gain knowledge about history. Unfortunately. My mother suffered a cardiac arrest and had minor heart attack two days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. I am a single child of my parents and there was no one to take care of her as my father is working in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other state. For him it takes time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a long
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
from work.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
my course in between and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
back to my city. I am was
extremely
grateful to you for your assistance in studies and it was wonderful being your student. Yours
Sincerely
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Pawanpreet
.

IELTS letter You were doing a short course at another country however you had to leave the course unexpectedly to fly back home

Letter
  American English
1 paragraphs
198 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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