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You went to the local hospital's Emergency Department with your young child who had severe stomach pains. You had to wait for almost four hours before your daughter was treated by a doctor and, while you were waiting, you were constantly ignored by the other staff. Write a letter to the Registrar, complaining about the service you received.

You went to the local hospital's Emergency Department with your young child who had severe stomach pains. You had to wait for almost four hours before your daughter was treated by a doctor and, while you were waiting, you were constantly ignored by the other staff. Write a letter to the Registrar, complaining about the service you received. YXXK
Dear Sir, I am writing this letter to complain about the service I received when I went to the city hospital for my child's treatment. Actually, that day in the early morning after having breakfast, within 30 minutes my daughter started having chronic abdominal pain. Being a mother, initially, I could not realize anything that happened to her, I was shocked. But then without wasting time I rushed towards the hospital directly to the Emergency department. Out of my surprise, there was nobody from staff paying any attention to us or even listening to us and were busy with their own work. How can one expect this level of service in the Emergency departmet? And, I could not imagine how my daughter waited long enough screaming in pain four hours to get treated by the doctor. This is not at all an acceptable level of service and I am writing this in strict words to improve it as early as possible, otherwise, this may lead to any severe consequences for any critical patient. Looking forward to the strict actions from you, Yours Faithfully, Ring Chauhan
Dear Sir,

I am writing this letter to complain about the service I received when I went to the city hospital for my child's treatment.

Actually, that day in the early morning after having breakfast, within 30 minutes my daughter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
having chronic abdominal pain. Being a mother,
initially
, I could not realize anything that happened to her, I
was shocked
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
then without wasting time I rushed towards the hospital
directly
to the Emergency department. Out of my surprise, there was nobody from staff paying any attention to us or even listening to us and were busy with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
work. How can one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
this level of service in the Emergency
Possible spelling mistake found.
departmet
? And, I could not imagine how my daughter waited long
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
screaming in pain four hours to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
treated by the doctor.

This is not at all an acceptable level of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
service and
I am writing this in strict words to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
it as early as possible,
otherwise
, this may lead to any severe consequences for any critical patient.

Looking forward to the strict actions from you,

Yours
Faithfully
, Ring Chauhan

IELTS letter You went to the local hospital's Emergency Department with your young child who had severe stomach pains. You had to wait for almost four hours before your daughter was treated by a doctor and, while you were waiting, you were constantly ignored by the other staff. Write a letter to the Registrar, complaining about the service you received.

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
184 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • You went to the local hospital's Emergency Department with your young child who had severe stomach pains. You had to wait for almost four hours before your daughter was treated by a doctor and, while you were waiting, you were constantly ignored by the other staff. Write a letter to the Registrar, complaining about the service you received.