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You want to start your own small business. Write a letter to a bank requesting information about obtaining a business loan to finance your new company. Include the following information: what kind of business you want to start how much money you need the length of time over which you would expect to repay the money

You want to start your own small business. Write a letter to a bank requesting information about obtaining a business loan to finance your new company. Include the following information: what kind of business you want to start how much money you need the length of time over which you would expect to repay the money E3lB3
Respected sir, I have been dealing with your bank for a long term. I think Our relationship should grow to the next level. I want to get some guidance about my finances because I need a term loan for the start up new business. As you know, I already have a small Service business of laptops and computers and dealing with your bank for finance but I would like to start another business of retail computers as there are a plethora of companies in the area nearby my place. As well as numerous college students staying in our area. And no retailer shops available for computers in our location so I want to start up a new business in our location. Well, I need Rs. 5000000 lakh for this business and I arranged 40% amount but I need a loan of 60% amount from your bank. I want to plan long term finance so I can repay your small EMI easily. Please provide me your bank interest rate, terms, Conditions and necessary documents required for the loan. I am looking forward to hearing from you. Your sincerely Hemang patel
Respected sir,

I have been dealing with your bank for a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
term
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
Our relationship should grow to the
next
level.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
guidance about my finances
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I need a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
term
loan for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
up new business.

As you know, I already have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
Service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
of laptops and computers and dealing with your bank for finance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
of retail computers as there are a plethora of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in the area nearby my place.
As well
as numerous college students staying in our area. And no retailer shops available for computers in our location
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
up a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
in our location. Well, I need Rs. 5000000 lakh for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and I arranged 40% amount
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I need a loan of 60% amount from your bank.

I want to plan long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
term
finance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I can repay your
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
EMI
easily
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
provide me your bank interest rate, terms, Conditions and necessary documents required for the loan.

I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Your
sincerely


Possible spelling mistake found.
Hemang
Possible spelling mistake found.
patel
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IELTS letter You want to start your own small business. Write a letter to a bank requesting information about obtaining a business loan to finance your new company. Include the following information: what kind of business you want to start how much money you need the length of time over which you would expect to repay the money

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
188 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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