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You saw an advertisement for a tennis course in England but you have some problems and can’t stay for the whole course. v.2

You saw an advertisement for a tennis course in England but you have some problems and can’t stay for the whole course. v. 2
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing this letter in response to an advertisement, which was published online a few days ago, where it shows that your tennis academy in Nottinghamshire is offering a short tennis course for the beginners. Given how much interested I really am in becoming a good tennis player, I had naturally become very interested after seeing the word “short”. But, then my excitement died down a little after noticing that the short was not really that short after all. In fact, I would need to spend at least 4 weeks in England to finish the whole course, which could be a bit problematic since I would need to return to my country after three weeks. I have got three weeks vacation from my job which I am planning to use in learning tennis. Therefore, I was just wondering if I would be allowed to join the course with some sort of guarantee that I would get a partial refund for my course should I go back to my country before finishing the entire course or maybe you can make a special arrangement so that I can finish it three weeks. I will wait for your response. Yours faithfully, Martin Freeman
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing this letter in response to an advertisement, which
was published
online a few days ago, where it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that your tennis academy in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nottinghamshire
is offering a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
short
tennis
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
for the beginners.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
how much interested I
really
am in becoming a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
tennis player, I had
naturally
become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
interested after seeing the word
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“short”
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, then my excitement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
down a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
after noticing that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
short
was not
really
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
short
after all
. In fact, I would need to spend at least 4 weeks in England to finish the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
, which could be a bit problematic since I would need to return to my country after three weeks. I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
three weeks vacation from my job which I am planning to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in learning tennis.

Therefore
, I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
wondering if I would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sort of guarantee that I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a partial refund for my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
should I go back to my country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
finishing the entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
or maybe you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a special arrangement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I can finish it three weeks.

I will wait for your response.

Yours
faithfully
,

Martin Freeman
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS letter You saw an advertisement for a tennis course in England but you have some problems and can’t stay for the whole course. v. 2

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
204 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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