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You saw an advertisement for a tennis course in England but you have some problems and can’t stay for the whole course. v.3

You saw an advertisement for a tennis course in England but you have some problems and can’t stay for the whole course. v. 3
Dear Sir or Madam, I am Stephen Gore, writing to inquire some details about the tennis course you conduct. I would specifically like to know your refund policy for people who cannot complete the whole course. I have recently noticed your advertisement in a daily newspaper and as a passionate learner of this sport, I would like to get enrolled in this three-month-long program. As the course is intended for the intermediate players of tennis, it would be a good fit for me. However, there are some issues that I would like to resolve before getting into this course. Firstly, the timing of the course, according to the adverts, it is from 4: 00 to 6: 00 in the evening. However, I cannot join it before 5: 30 pm. Is there any option to adjust the timing or date? I guess that would be necessary for learners who have a full-time job. Besides, I will probably travel to Sydney, Australia during my course schedule and would stay there for almost two months. Considering this, can I get a refund in case I do not complete the whole course? What is the refund policy? Finally, I would request you to email the document checklists to join the course. Thank you in advance. A prompt response would be highly appreciated. Yours faithfully, Stephen Gore
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am Stephen Gore, writing to inquire
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
about the tennis
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
you conduct. I would
specifically
like to know your refund policy for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who cannot complete the whole course.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
have recently noticed your advertisement in a daily newspaper and as a passionate learner of this sport, I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
enrolled in this three-month-long program. As the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
is intended
for the intermediate players of tennis, it would be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
fit for me.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issues that I would like to resolve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
getting into this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
.
Firstly
, the timing of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
, according to the adverts, it is from 4: 00 to 6: 00 in the evening.
However
, I cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
5: 30 pm. Is there any option to adjust the timing or date? I guess that would be necessary for learners who have a full-time job.
Besides
, I will
probably
travel to Sydney, Australia during my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
schedule and would stay there for almost two months. Considering this, can I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a refund in case I do not complete the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
? What is the refund policy?
Finally
, I would request you to email the document checklists to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the course.

Thank you in advance. A prompt response would be
highly
appreciated.

Yours
faithfully
,

Stephen Gore
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS letter You saw an advertisement for a tennis course in England but you have some problems and can’t stay for the whole course. v. 3

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
221 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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