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You recently went to a concert and thought one of the singers was very good. You want to tell him how you feel. Write a letter to the singer. In your letter 1) say how you feel about his performance 2) give details of your musical activities 3) explain how you would like him to help you with your musical activities

You recently went to a concert and thought one of the singers was very good. You want to tell him how you feel. Write a letter to the singer. In your letter 1) say how you feel about his performance 2) give details of your musical activities 3) explain how you would like him to help you with your musical activities 6xdrx
Dear Arijit, I - Ankit Vyas attended your group concert at Mumbai of 90's Bollywood songs on the 15th March 2021. I enjoyed all the performances especially loved your performance giving tribute to all legendary singers of 1990's as a medley. The one part which liked in your performance was that while singing songs you maintained the style of the original song but you also added a small portion unique to your singing style as improvisation. I am a student of music, aspiring to be a professional singer, learning different aspects of singing with a local teacher. I have good command over bollywood and modern genre but I lack the training in Indian classical music. As you are a very good classical music, I would like to request you to spare some your time and give me valuable learning tips to improve my skills at classical singing. I will be obliged if you agree to spare some of your time on training. I also live in Mumbai so it would not be difficult for me to meet you at your convenience. My contact number is 1234567890. You can let me know your availability for a short training session. Expecting your positive response Yours Truly Ankit Vyas
Dear
Possible spelling mistake found.
Arijit
,

I
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
Ankit
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vyas
attended your group concert at Mumbai of
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "90s".
90's
Bollywood songs on the 15th March 2021. I enjoyed all the performances
especially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
your performance giving tribute to all legendary singers of
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "1990s".
1990's
as a medley.

The one part which liked in your performance was that while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
singing
songs you maintained the style of the original song
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
you
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
portion unique to your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
singing
style as improvisation.

I am a student of music, aspiring to be a professional singer, learning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
singing
with a local teacher. I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
command over
Possible spelling mistake found.
bollywood
and modern genre
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I lack the training in Indian classical music.

As you are a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
classical music, I would like to request you to spare
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "your time" or "some time"?
some your time
and give me valuable learning tips to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
at classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
singing
. I will
be obliged
if you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to spare
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of your time on training. I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in Mumbai
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it would not be difficult for me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
you at your convenience.

My contact number is 1234567890. You can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
me know your availability for a short training session.

Expecting your
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
response

Yours
Truly


Ankit
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vyas
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IELTS letter You recently went to a concert and thought one of the singers was very good. You want to tell him how you feel. Write a letter to the singer. In your letter 1) say how you feel about his performance 2) give details of your musical activities 3) explain how you would like him to help you with your musical activities

Letter
  American English
9 paragraphs
205 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • You recently went to a concert and thought one of the singers was very good. You want to tell him how you feel. Write a letter to the singer. In your letter 1) say how you feel about his performance 2) give details of your musical activities 3) explain how you would like him to help you with your musical activities