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You recently visited a place that had a strong impact on you. Now you want to write to your friend about the place. v.3

You recently visited a place that had a strong impact on you. Now you want to write to your friend about the place. v. 3
Dear Leon, I have just returned from my holidays in France and while we were there we climbed a mountain called 'Parleman' in the French Alps. We were able to drive halfway up the mountain but then the road stopped. So we parked, put on our walking boots and began the long uphill struggle. But the place was a bit of heaven and I wish to take you to this excellent place someday. In spite of the road at the beginning, it still took us a while to complete the climb but it was well worth the effort. When we got to the top of the mountain, the view was incredible. I could see right across the town and the lake to one side, and on the other side were the snow-covered peaks of Mont Blanc. It was simply breathtaking. As you know, we often go to France for our holiday and next time we plan a trip, I'd really like to take you there. I'm sure you would love the scenery and as you enjoy exercise, you would be able to take advantage of all the mountain walks. Hope to meet you soon. Warm wishes, Paul
Dear Leon,

I have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
returned from my holidays in France and while we were there we climbed a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mountain
called '
Possible spelling mistake found.
Parleman
' in the French Alps. We were able to drive halfway up the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mountain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
then the road
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
we parked, put on our walking boots and began the long uphill struggle.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the place was a bit of heaven and I wish to take you to this excellent place someday.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
the road at the beginning, it
still
took us a while to complete the climb
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it was well worth the effort. When we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
to the top of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mountain
, the view was incredible. I could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
right across the town and the lake to one side, and on the other side were the snow-covered peaks of Mont Blanc. It was
simply
breathtaking.

As you know, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
go to France for our holiday and
next
time we plan a trip, I'd
really
like to take you there. I'm sure you would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
the scenery and as you enjoy exercise, you would be able to take advantage of all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mountain
walks.

Hope to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Warm wishes,

Paul
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS letter You recently visited a place that had a strong impact on you. Now you want to write to your friend about the place. v. 3

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
196 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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