Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

You recently visited a place that had a strong impact on you. Now you want to write to your friend about the place. v.2

You recently visited a place that had a strong impact on you. Now you want to write to your friend about the place. v. 2
Dear Gretel, Hope you are doing great. I am writing this letter to tell you about a fascinating place that I discovered unexpectedly very near to our college. I would like you to join me next time I go there. While cycling last morning, I took a detour from our regular path and cycled along the banks of the stream that passes behind the main college building. After one kilometre or so, I reached a dead end and when I was about to turn, I became anxious to know where the stream goes beyond this as I could see no land post that end. I was gasped to see that the small looking stream turned into a beautiful waterfall with sun-raises cutting through the water and displaying prism colours. The place looked so serene and calm. The most astonishing part was the beauty of nature and I wished to stay there for long. As I know you have an interest in photography, I do not think you should miss taking pictures of this wonderful place. I will be cycling to this place again on Saturday and I would really want you to come along with me and see the beauty of nature for yourself. See you on Saturday! Best wishes, Gemma
Dear Gretel,

Hope you are doing great. I am writing this letter to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you about a fascinating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
that I discovered
unexpectedly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
near to our college. I would like you to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
me
next
time I go there.

While cycling last morning, I took a detour from our regular path and cycled along the banks of the stream that passes behind the main college building. After one
Possible spelling mistake. 'kilometre' is British English.
kilometre
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, I reached a dead
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
and when I was about to turn, I became anxious to know where the stream goes beyond this as I could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
no land post that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
. I
was gasped
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
looking stream turned into a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
waterfall with sun-raises cutting through the water and displaying prism
Possible spelling mistake. 'colours' is British English.
colours
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
looked
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
serene and calm. The most astonishing part was the beauty of nature and I wished to stay there for long.

As I know you have an interest in photography, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
you should miss taking pictures of this wonderful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
. I will be cycling to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
again on Saturday and I would
really
want you to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
along with me and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the beauty of nature for yourself.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
See
you on Saturday!

Best wishes,

Gemma
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS letter You recently visited a place that had a strong impact on you. Now you want to write to your friend about the place. v. 2

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
210 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts