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You recently took part in a fundraising activity in your community to raise money for charity. Write an email to a friend in which you: Describe the aims of the charity Explain how you raised the funds for the charity Encourage them to take part in a fundraising activity.

You recently took part in a fundraising activity in your community to raise money for charity. Write an email to a friend in which you: Describe the aims of the charity Explain how you raised the funds for the charity Encourage them to take part in a fundraising activity. PRE92
Dear Squash, So sorry, I could not write to you earlier. I was rather busy for a long time. I am pleased to receive your e-mail which is about your health. I organized a bene*cial charity. I am building a big technology center situated in the city center and near the government palace. You know, our world is changing that anything which is in it, is developing thoroughly. Technology is one part of this development. The location which will be located shortly will implement a lot of duties. We have three aims for building a technology center. First, upgrading the level of knowledge which is possessed by the city population. Second, dissemination of modernity among the urban. The third and the most relevant is exploring discoveries. We must invent discovery and use it for improvement. Our center will start in February this year. It was hard to gain enough *nance. At *rst, no one was interested in our charity. Nevertheless, we promoted our idea. Soon, many people came and contributed their best, our money maximized rapidly. In the end, my charitable group has enough funds. We have begun our building layout. it is carried out at the moment. I offer to you that you should also give some money to charity. It is paltry for you, in addition, you may acquire a supernatural reward. Furthermore, learning in our technology center will be altogether free! I expect that you won't stare at any girls. Take care of yourself. Like Hawk
Dear Squash,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
sorry, I could not write to you earlier. I was
rather
busy for a long time. I am
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
pleased
to receive your e-mail which is about your health.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
organized a ben
Replace by the typographical symbol.
e*c
ial charity.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am building a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
center situated in the city center and near the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
palace. You know, our world is changing that anything which is in it, is developing
thoroughly
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
is one part of this development. The location which will
be located
shortly will implement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
duties. We have three aims for building a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
center.
First
, upgrading the level of knowledge which
is possessed
by the city population. Second, dissemination of modernity among the urban. The third and the most relevant is exploring discoveries. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
invent discovery and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it for improvement. Our center will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
in February this year. It was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
*
Possible spelling mistake found.
nance
. At *
Possible spelling mistake found.
rst
, no one
was interested
in our charity.
Nevertheless
, we promoted our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Soon
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
came and contributed their best, our money maximized
rapidly
. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, my charitable group has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
funds. We have begun our building layout.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is carried
out at the moment. I offer to you that you should
also
give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money to charity. It is paltry for you,
in addition
, you may acquire a supernatural reward.
Furthermore
, learning in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
center will be altogether free! I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
that you won't stare at any girls. Take care of yourself. Like
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
Hawk
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IELTS letter You recently took part in a fundraising activity in your community to raise money for charity. Write an email to a friend in which you: Describe the aims of the charity Explain how you raised the funds for the charity Encourage them to take part in a fundraising activity.

Letter
  American English
1 paragraphs
248 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • You recently took part in a fundraising activity in your community to raise money for charity. Write an email to a friend in which you: Describe the aims of the charity Explain how you raised the funds for the charity Encourage them to take part in a fundraising activity.