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You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. v.5

You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. v. 5
Dear David, I have received your letter, and I am so glad that you all are doing fine. Also, I thank you for taking me into confidence in order to consult about a decision as important as either getting a job or going to a college. While I consider both propositions to be very crucial for personal and professional growth, I think that timing and personal circumstances are also important when taking such an important decision. And, knowing you personally for quite some time, I don’t think that timing and circumstances are exactly on your side as far as the issue of going to a college is concerned. In fact, I know, how you don’t like doing so much homework and love to explore new places and opportunities. So, I would suggest that you should gain some job experience before you start college. You should get a job as a front desk agent at a hotel because I know how outgoing personality you really are, and how you like to meet and talk to different kinds of people. After all, a hotel is a place which is visited by all kinds of new people almost every day. I wish you very best of luck. Warm regards, Antony
Dear David,

I have received your letter, and I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
glad that you all are doing fine.
Also
, I thank you for taking me into confidence in order to consult about a decision as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as either getting a job or going to a college.

While I consider both propositions to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial for personal and professional growth, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that timing and personal circumstances are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
when taking such an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
decision. And, knowing you
personally
for quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time, I don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that timing and circumstances are exactly on your side as far as the issue of going to a college
is concerned
. In fact, I know, how you don’t like doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much homework and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to explore new places and opportunities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I would suggest that you should gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "jobs"?
job
experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
college.

You should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job as a front desk agent at a hotel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I know how outgoing personality you
really
are, and how you like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
and talk to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
After all
, a hotel is a place which
is visited
by all kinds of new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
almost every day. I wish you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
best of luck.

Warm regards,

Antony
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS letter You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. v. 5

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
206 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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