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People in your area are having problems with their internet connection. Write a letter to the company which provides the connection. v.1

People in your area are having problems with their internet connection. Write a letter to the company which provides the connection. v. 1
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to express my discontent with the internet connection that your company provides in our area. The disruptive internet connection is causing a great problem for us and I am hoping you would resolve it as soon as possible. Your company is supposed to provide technology that guarantees an uninterrupted internet connection. However, this does not seem to be the case. For the last couple of weeks, we are experiencing extremely slow connectivity and sometimes the internet is totally unreachable. During peak hours, the internet speed is as slow as a few KB per second only. Many people in our area, including my husband, work from home and a disruptive internet connection means they are unable to work. Due to poor connectivity, they can’t send finished assignments to their clients on time. Frequent disconnections also affect people who do video conferencing online. Besides, we are often unable to do online shopping, send important emails and pay utility bills online. I expected that the situation will be dealt with the highest importance without any delay. Please send your staff to come over and check if you need to install new cables since they might be fairly old. Take any other measure necessary to resolve the slow connectivity. Expecting a prompt resolution from you. Yours faithfully, Rebecca Porter Model
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to express my discontent with the internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
connection
that your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
provides in our area. The disruptive internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
connection
is causing a great problem for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
us and
I am hoping you would resolve it as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible.

Your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
is supposed
to provide technology that guarantees an uninterrupted internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
connection
.
However
, this does not seem to be the case. For the last couple of weeks, we are experiencing
extremely
slow connectivity and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
the internet is
totally
unreachable. During peak hours, the internet speed is as slow as a few KB per second
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in our area, including my husband, work from home and a disruptive internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
connection
means they are unable to work. Due to poor connectivity, they can’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
finished assignments to their clients on time. Frequent disconnections
also
affect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who do video conferencing online.
Besides
, we are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
unable to do online shopping,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
emails and pay utility bills online.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
that the situation will
be dealt
with the highest importance without any delay.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
your staff to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
over and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
if you need to install new cables since they might be
fairly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. Take any other measure necessary to resolve the slow connectivity.

Expecting a prompt resolution from you.

Yours
faithfully
,

Rebecca Porter

Model
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS letter People in your area are having problems with their internet connection. Write a letter to the company which provides the connection. v. 1

Letter
  American English
9 paragraphs
222 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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