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You recently did a short cookery course. The cookery school has asked for your feedback on this course

You recently did a short cookery course. The cookery school has asked for your feedback on this course QL7yX
Dear Ajay, Last month, I had attended the Sunburn Festival in Goa with my friends. Your performance was scintillating and I was awestruck after listening to each and every song of yours in the concert. I consider you as my mentor in music and that day was a blessing for me to see you perform live. You were the inspiration for me and my friends to start our career in music. Five of us have come together and created a band with the name ‘Junoon’. We perform at various clubs in Mumbai and have also collaborated with T-Series for their music albums. We are planning to prepare an album on COVID warriors as a mark of respect. For the same, on behalf of my friends and me, I would request you to be a part of our music album which will be a tribute from the society to the warriors. Do let us know with whom we can get in touch with further details. Thanking you in anticipation. Yours sincerely, Team Junoon
Dear Ajay,

Last month, I had attended the Sunburn Festival in Goa with my friends.

Your performance was
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
scintillating and
I was awestruck after listening to each and every song of yours in the concert. I consider you as my mentor in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and that day was a blessing for me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
you perform
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.

You were the inspiration for me and my friends to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
our career in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. Five of us have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
together and created a band with the name ‘
Possible spelling mistake found.
Junoon
’. We perform at various clubs in Mumbai and have
also
collaborated with T-Series for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
albums.

We are planning to prepare an album on
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
COVID
warriors as a mark of respect. For the same, on behalf of my friends and me, I would request you to be a part of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
album which will be a tribute from the society to the warriors.

Do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us know with whom we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in touch with
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

Thanking you in anticipation.

Yours
sincerely
,

Team
Possible spelling mistake found.
Junoon

IELTS letter You recently did a short cookery course. The cookery school has asked for your feedback on this course

Letter
  American English
9 paragraphs
171 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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