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You read in a newspaper that a company is going to renovate some school buildings in your local area that are in a poor condition. You would like to offer your help. Write a letter to the charity paying for the renovation. In your letter Explain why you want to help with the renovation Suggest what you can do to help Say when you are available to start work

You read in a newspaper that a company is going to renovate some school buildings in your local area that are in a poor condition. You would like to offer your help. Write a letter to the charity paying for the renovation. In your letter Explain why you want to help with the renovation Suggest what you can do to help Say when you are available to start work 7raWA
Dear Sir, I am writing this letter to express my interest in the school buildings’ renovation in our district. I am Hamza, Founder of Smart Building Solutions, providing electrical and IT expertise in different scopes. To start with, I read the advertisement in a newspaper regarding this wonderful venture of refurbishing the schools that are in poor condition with charitable fund. I immediately wanted to join the cause as these schools are meant for unprivileged students. To add more, I believe that these pupils are the future of our nation. My company wants to take over the electrical scope of works, in full capacity. In addition to the lightning and power supply, we will introduce surveillance, provide IT infrastructure for learning and development of these children. Moreover, we have completed the case study and estimated the expenditure of the project. Finally, I would like to meet your team to discuss further details so we can start participating in this humanitarian cause as soon as possible. If approved, we could start work by the beginning of next month which is the required time to mobilize manpower and procure material. I urge you to consider our offer, looking forward to your positive response. Yours faithfully, Hamza Khan
Dear Sir,

I am writing this letter to express my interest in the school buildings’ renovation in our district. I am Hamza, Founder of Smart Building Solutions, providing electrical and IT expertise in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
scopes.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, I read the advertisement in a newspaper regarding this wonderful venture of refurbishing the schools that are in poor condition with charitable fund. I immediately wanted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the cause as these schools
are meant
for unprivileged students. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
more, I believe that these pupils are the future of our nation.

My
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
wants to take over the electrical scope of works, in full capacity.
In addition
to the lightning and power supply, we will introduce surveillance, provide IT infrastructure for learning and development of these children.
Moreover
, we have completed the case study and estimated the expenditure of the project.

Finally
, I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
your team to discuss
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
participating in this humanitarian cause as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible. If approved, we could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
work by the beginning of
next
month which is the required time to mobilize manpower and procure material.

I urge you to consider our offer, looking forward to your
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
response.

Yours
faithfully
,

Hamza Khan

IELTS letter You read in a newspaper that a company is going to renovate some school buildings in your local area that are in a poor condition. You would like to offer your help. Write a letter to the charity paying for the renovation. In your letter Explain why you want to help with the renovation Suggest what you can do to help Say when you are available to start work

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
204 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • You read in a newspaper that a company is going to renovate some school buildings in your local area that are in a poor condition. You would like to offer your help. Write a letter to the charity paying for the renovation. In your letter Explain why you want to help with the renovation Suggest what you can do to help Say when you are available to start work