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Letter giving advice for my friend.

Letter giving advice for my friend. JLoPe
Dear Elizabeth First of all, thank you for writing me this letter. I'm sorry to hear about your problems. Maybe I can give you some advice and things will get better soon. Here's what I think you should do. I think, it's very bad thing, being annoyed with relations, especially, sisters. I would advise you, firstly you need to beg sisters pardon, because she's elder than you. Why don't you want to give chance for your feelings? I'm sure, that you really want to do it, but your fervour just against with you. It would be a good idea to make a surprise for your sister. For example: to make a cake with writing "Sorry, for my bad manners! " or to buy beautiful flowers with letter "I'm sorry! " or to invite for the dinner. The best advice I can give you only seeing each other is boundary of all. I would very much like to know if this was helpful to your sadness. Let me know what happens. Best regards. Emilie.
Dear Elizabeth
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, thank you for writing me this letter. I'm sorry to hear about your problems. Maybe I can give you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advice and things will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
. Here's what I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
you should do. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, it's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
thing,
being annoyed
with relations,
especially
, sisters. I would advise you,
firstly
you need to beg sisters pardon,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
she's
Did you mean "older"?
elder
than you. Why don't you want to give chance for your feelings? I'm sure, that you
really
want to do it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
your
Possible spelling mistake found.
fervour
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
against with you. It would be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a surprise for your sister.
For example
: to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a cake with writing
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Sorry, for my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
manners!
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
or
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
flowers with letter
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
I'm sorry!
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
or
to invite for the dinner. The best advice I can give you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
seeing each other is boundary of all. I would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much like to know if this was helpful to your sadness.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
me know what happens. Best regards.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Emilie
.
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IELTS letter Letter giving advice for my friend.

Letter
  American English
1 paragraphs
173 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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