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You have recently migrated to another country. Now write a letter to your friend to describe your present life. v.2

You have recently migrated to another country. Now write a letter to your friend to describe your present life. v. 2
Hope you are doing fine. I'm so happy that you have finally decided to migrate to Canada and I would say that it is a timely decision considering your career and children's education. As you know I have migrated to Ontario, Canada last January and we are doing fine. It was a big decision to migrate to another country but I am delighted that we have finally settled in. It's been almost four months and we already feel like home. The different weather was perhaps the hardest part to adapt with but we are doing excellent. As you know, Canada has one of the highest immigration rates due to better job opportunities, cultural diversity, economic strength and its tolerance to immigrants. On top of that, superior education this country offers is unparalleled. Canada’s affordable education system has contributed to its appeal to immigrants and I primarily considered my daughter's education before deciding to migrate to another country. I have managed a job in an accounting firm and the pay scale is really lucrative. We have rented a house near Ria's school and it's around 30 minutes drive away from my office.   Canadians are very nice people, especially Ontarians and I have already made a few friends. Home to the Niagara Falls, Ontario is full of things to do and we are so amazed to explore new places each week. You can never get bored of living here since there's much variety of everything. We have plenty of options to occupy our time. I would love to hear from you. Please do write back to me. Warm wishes, Ashim
Hope you are doing fine. I'm
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
happy that you have
finally
decided to migrate to Canada and I would say that it is a timely decision considering your career and children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. As you know I have migrated to Ontario, Canada last
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
January and
we are doing fine.

It was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
decision to migrate to another country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
am delighted
that we have
finally
settled in. It's been almost four
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
months and
we already feel like home. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
weather was perhaps the hardest part to adapt with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we are doing excellent.

As you know, Canada has one of the highest immigration rates due to better job opportunities, cultural diversity, economic strength and its tolerance to immigrants.
On top of that
, superior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
this country offers
is unparalleled
. Canada’s affordable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system has contributed to its appeal to immigrants and I
primarily
considered my daughter's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
deciding to migrate to another country.

I have managed a job in an accounting firm and the pay scale is
really
lucrative. We have rented a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
near
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ria
's school and it's around 30 minutes drive away from my office.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Canadians are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
nice
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
especially
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ontarians
and I have already made a few friends. Home to the Niagara Falls, Ontario is full of things to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
do and
we are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
amazed to explore new places each week. You can never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
In standard English it's more accepted to use "bored with" or "bored by".
bored of
living here since there's much variety of everything. We have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of options to occupy our time.

I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to hear from you.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
do write back to me.

Warm wishes,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Ashim
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS letter You have recently migrated to another country. Now write a letter to your friend to describe your present life. v. 2

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
268 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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