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You have seen an advertisement in this week’s magazine that invites suitable candidates to apply for the sales manager position in a company. v.2

You have seen an advertisement in this week’s magazine that invites suitable candidates to apply for the sales manager position in a company. v. 2
Dear Sir or Madam, I have recently noticed an advertisement in the Weekly Times magazine that announces a job vacancy for the position of sales manager in your company. I am writing to offer myself as a deserving candidate for the post. I have been working in Cubical Property and Resource Management as a senior marketing officer for the last three years and my total experience in this field accounts for approximately 6 years. I have completed my B. Com from the University of Leeds with a distinction and then completed M. B. A from Cardiff University. As a commerce major, I started my professional life in the arena of marketing and I truly enjoy this challenging position. I have been in the marketing sector ever after I left university. I am enclosing my curriculum vitae that outlines my academic and professional profile in details for your kind consideration. I am driven by passion, goal and integrity. I will surely be a valuable asset to your company and would like to discuss my candidacy for the post in person. I can be reached at +44 020 6534 anytime you wish. Yours faithfully, Oliver Gill
Dear Sir or Madam,

I have recently noticed an advertisement in the Weekly Times magazine that announces a job vacancy for the position of sales manager in your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. I am writing to offer myself as a deserving candidate for the post.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
have been working in Cubical Property and Resource Management as a senior marketing officer for the last three years and my total experience in this field accounts for approximately 6 years.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
have completed my B. Com from the University of Leeds with a distinction and then completed M. B. A
Did you mean "form"?
from
Cardiff University. As a commerce major, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
my professional life in the arena of marketing and I
truly
enjoy this challenging position. I have been in the marketing sector ever after I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
university.

I am enclosing my curriculum vitae that outlines my academic and professional profile in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
for your kind consideration.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am driven
by passion, goal and integrity.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
will
surely
be a valuable asset to your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and would like to discuss my candidacy for the post in person.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
can
be reached
at +44 020 6534 anytime you wish.

Yours
faithfully
,

Oliver Gill
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS letter You have seen an advertisement in this week’s magazine that invites suitable candidates to apply for the sales manager position in a company. v. 2

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
193 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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