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You have seen an advertisement in australian magzine to stay with family and look after their 6 year old kid for 6 months so write a letter to describe why you want this job and why you are suitable for this position

You have seen an advertisement in australian magzine to stay with family and look after their 6 year old kid for 6 months so write a letter to describe why you want this job and why you are suitable for this position kgdL2
I am writing this letter in regard of the requirement of an employee after reading an advertisement from a magazine. I am international student and looking for both accommodation and job so I really want to have this opportunity. I am from the same country as you are so I can easily adjust with your child and I have two niece back in my home so I know very well to care of a kid so I will consider this job not only for money but also to spend quality with kid in order to avoid nostalgia of my home as I alone came here. I can cook, play games and can teach him too. Despite of studying in library for my academics, I would like to spend my leisure time to prepare some traditional foods which I like the most and I can go for shopping with the kid so that we can develop good relation with each other. I will be waiting for your response. Thanks for your consideration. Yours faithfully, Sharanjeet Kaur
I am writing this letter in regard of the requirement of an employee after reading an advertisement from a magazine. I
Please check whether an article is missing: "am a international" or "am an international"
am international
student and looking for both accommodation and job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
really
want to have this opportunity.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am from the same country as you are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I can
easily
adjust with your child and I have two
Possible agreement error. The noun 'niece' seems to be countable, so consider using: "nieces".
niece
back in my home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well to care of a kid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I will consider this job not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to spend quality with kid in order to avoid nostalgia of my home as I alone came here.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
can cook, play games and can teach him too.

Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
studying in library for my academics, I would like to spend my leisure time to prepare
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
traditional foods which I like the most and I can go for shopping with the kid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that we can develop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relation with each other.

I will be waiting for your response.

Thanks for your consideration.

Yours
faithfully
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Sharanjeet
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kaur
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IELTS letter You have seen an advertisement in australian magzine to stay with family and look after their 6 year old kid for 6 months so write a letter to describe why you want this job and why you are suitable for this position

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
174 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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