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You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six year old child

You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six year old child g5ypd
Dear Sir or Madam, With reference to your advertisement in The Week magazine, Australian Edition, I would like to apply for the said position. I always loved to be around kids because of which I started doing part time job of babysitting. That also helped me support my studies in college. Because I liked being a babysitter, it helped me decide on my career prospect and I enrolled for Diploma in Child Care from DNU University, New Zealand. I had passed the course with Distinction in 2018. Also to mention, I had completed my apprenticeship in Joy Children’s Hospital, New Zealand in the same year. I can assure you that given a chance to serve, you would have no complaints from me. I have never visited Australia, so during free time, I would love to explore the tourist places, learn about its culture and pass the learned things to your child. Further, for your consideration, I am enclosing herewith my Curriculum Vitae. In case you have any questions or need clarity about my experience, you can reach out to me on 99999 00000 or on my e-mail id abc@xyz. com. Looking forward for a favourable response from your end. Thanking you, Yours sincerely, Ms. ABC
Dear Sir or Madam,

With reference to your advertisement in The Week magazine, Australian Edition, I would like to apply for the said position. I always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
to be around kids
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
doing
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
job of babysitting. That
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me support my studies in college.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
I liked being a babysitter, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me decide on my career prospect and I enrolled for Diploma in Child Care from
Possible spelling mistake found.
DNU
University, New Zealand. I had passed the course with Distinction in 2018.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
to mention, I had completed my apprenticeship in Joy Children’s Hospital, New Zealand in the same year. I can assure you that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a chance to serve, you would have no complaints from me.

I have never visited Australia,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
during free time, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to explore the tourist places, learn about its culture and pass the learned things to your child.

Further
, for your consideration, I am enclosing herewith my Curriculum Vitae. In case you have any questions or need clarity about my experience, you can reach out to me on 99999 00000 or on my e-mail id
Possible spelling mistake found.
abc@xyz
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
com
.

Looking forward for a
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
response from your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

Thanking you,

Yours
sincerely
,

Ms. ABC

IELTS letter You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six year old child

Letter
  American English
9 paragraphs
204 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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