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You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six-year-old child. Write a letter to the parents. In your letter - explain why you would like the job, give details of why you would be a suitable person to employ, say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia.

Dear Sir/Madam, My name is Ella and I am from New Zealand. I have seen your advertisement in a magazine for look after your child and I write you because I want you to consider me for this position. I would like to work for you because I think I have enough experience to take care of your child. I like travel a lot. And I thought it is really good opportunity for me to explore new country too. I have 10 year experience of looking after children. I previously work in a kindergarten school to teach nursery students. I handled almost 10 students at a time in previous job and I know how to handle kids. I love teach new activities to kids and play with them. Also I completed a first aid course too. I can take care of children very well. If I had a chance to work with you it would be really grateful for me. I would spend my free time exploring Australia, visiting tourist attractions and trying some local cuisine. I am especially fond of Australian wines and would love to learn the art. Please contact me if you feel I fit your requirements. Best Regards, Ella
Dear Sir/Madam,

My name is
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Ella and
I am from New Zealand. I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
your advertisement in a magazine for look after your child and I write you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I want you to consider me for this position. I would like to work for you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
I have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
experience to take care of your child.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
like travel a lot. And I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
it is
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
opportunity for me to explore new country too. I have 10 year experience of looking after children. I previously work in a kindergarten school to teach nursery students.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
handled almost 10 students at a time in previous job and I know how to handle kids.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
The verb “teach” needs to be in the to-infinitive form.
love teach
new activities to kids and play with them.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
I completed a
first
aid course too. I can take care of children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well.

If I had a chance to work with
Consider adding a comma here.
you
it would be
really
grateful for me. I would spend my free time exploring Australia, visiting tourist attractions and trying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
local cuisine. I am
especially
fond of Australian wines and would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to learn the art.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
contact me if you feel I fit your requirements.

Best Regards,

Ella
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IELTS letter You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six-year-old child. Write a letter to the parents. In your letter - explain why you would like the job, give details of why you would be a suitable person to employ, say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia.

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
202 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six-year-old child. Write a letter to the parents. In your letter - explain why you would like the job, give details of why you would be a suitable person to employ, say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia.