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You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six-year-old child. v.3

You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six-year-old child. v. 3 8eOP
DEAR MA'AM I AM WRITING TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I HAVE READ YOUR ADVERTISEMENT IN AUSTRALIAN MAGAZINE AND I WANT TO INQUIRE IF STILL AVAILABLE, IM ROAN LIAO 30 YEARS OLD AND CURRENTLY EMPLOYED AS A CAREGIVER, BUT IT WILL END MY CONTRACT NEXT MONTH. I AM PSYCHOLOGY GRADUATE AND CERTIFIED CAREGIVER AND FIRST AIDER, MY JOB PRESENTLY IS THE SAME WITH YOUR JOB OFFER, I AM ALMOST A DECADE WORKING IN THIS LINE OF JOB, I DO COOKING, CLEANING, AND DRIVING THE CHILDREN TO SCHOOL AND I ALSO THEIR TUTOR, SO IF YOU HIRE ME I WILL ASSURE YOU THAT YOU WILL NOT GOING TO REGRET IT. I WILL GOING TO LOVE YOUR CHILD AS MY OWN EVEN THOUGH ITS A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME. IF YOU NEED MORE INFORMATION MY NUMBER AND EMAIL ADD ENCLOSE TO THIS LETTER. I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU. RESPECTFULLY YOURS, ROAN LIAO
DEAR MA'
Possible grammar error. Make sure that 'AM I AM WRITING' is correct.
AM I AM WRITING
TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
LET
YOU KNOW THAT I HAVE READ YOUR ADVERTISEMENT IN AUSTRALIAN MAGAZINE AND I WANT TO INQUIRE IF
STILL
AVAILABLE,
Make sure that 'IM' is an abbreviation (instant message, individual medley, infectious mononucleosis). Did you mean "I'm" or "I am"?
IM
ROAN
Possible spelling mistake found.
LIAO
30 YEARS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
OLD
AND
CURRENTLY
EMPLOYED AS A CAREGIVER,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BUT
IT WILL
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
END
MY CONTRACT
NEXT
MONTH.

I AM PSYCHOLOGY GRADUATE AND CERTIFIED CAREGIVER AND
FIRST
AIDER, MY JOB
PRESENTLY
IS THE SAME WITH YOUR JOB OFFER, I AM ALMOST A DECADE WORKING IN THIS LINE OF JOB, I
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "go COOKING".
DO COOKING
, CLEANING, AND DRIVING THE CHILDREN TO SCHOOL AND I
ALSO
THEIR TUTOR,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SO
IF YOU HIRE ME I WILL ASSURE YOU THAT YOU WILL NOT
The verb 'WILL' requires the base form of the verb: "go"
GOING
TO REGRET IT. I WILL
The verb 'WILL' requires the base form of the verb: "go"
GOING
TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
LOVE
YOUR CHILD AS MY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
OWN
EVEN THOUGH
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
ITS
A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME. IF YOU NEED MORE INFORMATION MY NUMBER AND EMAIL
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ADD
ENCLOSE TO THIS LETTER.

I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU.

RESPECTFULLY
YOURS, ROAN
Possible spelling mistake found.
LIAO

IELTS letter You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six-year-old child. v. 3

Letter
  American English
4 paragraphs
152 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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