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you have seen an advertisement in an australian magazine for some to live with a family for six months and look after their six year old child. write a letter to the parents. in your letter explain why you would like the job. give details of why you would be suitable person to employ. say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia

Dear Sir or Madam, I am Apurva, I am writing to you regarding your advertisement in the XX Magazine, for taking care of your six-year-old child. I would like to apply for the post. I have an experience with baby sitting in the past and have a very good rapport with small children. I feel working with small children is very rewarding and they give back their unconditional love to you very fast. Personally, I like to explore new places and learn about the new cultures. If I get free time and opportunity, I would love to explore Australia and their culture. I would also like to go to the local theatres as I like theatres and art work. I have also recently completed first aid course and child behaviour management course. It would be a great opportunity to work with you and your family. Looking forward to a positive response. Yours sincerely, Apurva
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am
Possible spelling mistake found.
Apurva
, I am writing to you regarding your advertisement in the XX Magazine, for taking care of your six-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
child.

I would like to apply for the post.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
have an experience with baby sitting in the past and have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
rapport with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
children.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
feel working with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
children is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
rewarding and
they give back their unconditional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
.

Personally
, I like to explore new places and learn about the new cultures. If I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
free time and opportunity, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to explore Australia and their culture. I would
also
like to go to the local
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
as I like
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
and art work.

I have
also
recently completed
first
aid course and child
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
management course.

It would be a great opportunity to work with you and your family. Looking forward to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
response.

Yours
sincerely
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Apurva

IELTS letter you have seen an advertisement in an australian magazine for some to live with a family for six months and look after their six year old child. write a letter to the parents. in your letter explain why you would like the job. give details of why you would be suitable person to employ. say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
153 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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