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A friend of yours is thinking about applying for the same course that you did at university. He/she has asked for your advice about studying this subject. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, • give details of the course you took at the university • explain why you recommend the university • give some advice about how to apply

Dear Sara, I Hope all are doing well. It’s been ages to write the letter. I am so delightful to share the important news with you. Last week I went to the shopping mall to purchase some of the electronic items for my house. In the mall I purchased the I phone 12 pro max for you. The mobile phone has excellent features and it is 64Gb ram and 32Gb internal storage. This phone is a self-expert camera with different camera options and picture clarity is excellent. I carefully checked all the features. I phone is one of the top most phones and it is giving foremost priority to the user’s privacy. I have decided to send the mobile phone through my friend. He is also working in Hyderabad as a software engineer and he agreed to give the mobile phone to you. I will share all the contact details of my friend with you. I hope you will definitely like the phone along with the features. You said that, your phone is broken. Hence I have decided to purchase a new mobile phone for you. I am looking forward for your response. Thanking you. Regards, Sravani
Dear Sara,

I Hope all are doing well. It’s been ages to write the letter. I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
delightful to share the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
news with you.

Last week I went to the shopping mall to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
electronic items for my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. In the mall I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
Possible typo. Did you mean "the" or "I"?
the I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
12 pro max for you. The mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
has excellent features and it is 64Gb ram and 32Gb internal storage. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
is a self-expert camera with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
camera options and picture clarity is excellent. I
carefully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checked
all the features. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
is one of the top most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and it is giving foremost priority to the user’s privacy.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
have decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
the mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
through my friend. He is
also
working in Hyderabad as a software
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
engineer and
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
to give the mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
to you. I will share all the contact
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of my friend with you.

I hope you will definitely like the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
along with the features. You said that, your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
is broken
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
I have decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
a new mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
for you. I am looking forward for your response.

Thanking you.

Regards,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Sravani

IELTS letter A friend of yours is thinking about applying for the same course that you did at university. He/she has asked for your advice about studying this subject. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, • give details of the course you took at the university • explain why you recommend the university • give some advice about how to apply

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
196 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • A friend of yours is thinking about applying for the same course that you did at university. He/she has asked for your advice about studying this subject. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, • give details of the course you took at the university • explain why you recommend the university • give some advice about how to apply