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You have recently moved to a different house. Now you would like to notify one of your English-speaking friends that you have moved to a different house. v.2

You have recently moved to a different house. Now you would like to notify one of your English-speaking friends that you have moved to a different house. v. 2
Dear Simmons, Hope you are doing great. I'm still relishing the pleasant memories we had together during our last trip - it was wonderful. I'm writing to let you know that we have moved into a house in Bath, a town set in the rolling countryside of southwest England. I hope you would visit us soon. As you know, my previous apartment was far away from my office and it was inconvenient both for me and Anna to commute a long distance daily. However, we could not shift our house considering Julie's school location. This summer I transferred her to Kingswood School in Bath and moved here soon after. Now the daily commute is no longer a cause of concern for us. We moved into this house at the beginning of February and we really like it. A small garden at the front makes it even more beautiful. We now have enough space to park 3 cars! It has five rooms, a lawn and two large balconies. The best part is that the area is quiet and surrounded by astonishing natural beauty. After living in a flat in a busy area for nearly 8 years, a spacious house seems like a dream come true. I hope you would visit us soon as I am really looking forward to having you and Linda with us for a few days. It will be fun. Hope to meet you soon. Warm wishes, Mitchell
Dear Simmons,

Hope you are doing great. I'm
still
relishing the pleasant memories we had together during our last trip
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
it was wonderful. I'm writing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
you know that we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
in Bath, a town set in the rolling countryside of southwest England.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
hope you would visit us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

As you know, my previous apartment was far away from my office and it was inconvenient both for me and Anna to commute a long distance daily.
However
, we could not shift our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
considering Julie's school location. This summer I transferred her to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kingswood
School in Bath and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
here
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
after.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
the daily commute is no longer a cause of concern for us.

We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
into this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
at the beginning of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
February and
we
really
like it. A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
garden at the front
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it even more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
space to park 3 cars! It has five rooms, a lawn and two large balconies. The best part is that the area is quiet and surrounded by astonishing natural beauty. After living in a flat in a busy area for
nearly
8 years, a spacious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
seems like a dream
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
true.

I hope you would visit us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as I am
really
looking forward to having you and Linda with us for a few days. It will be fun.

Hope to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Warm wishes,

Mitchell
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS letter You have recently moved to a different house. Now you would like to notify one of your English-speaking friends that you have moved to a different house. v. 2

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
239 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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