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A friend who lives in a different city has invited you to his/her daughter's 8th birthday. However, you can not accept the invitation due to some personal reasons. v.1

A friend who lives in a different city has invited you to his/her daughter's 8th birthday. However, you can not accept the invitation due to some personal reasons. v. 1
Dear Wilson, It was great to hear from you and I’m really surprised that Diana has already turned to 8. It sounds as if she has grown so fast. I wish her a happy birthday and thank you for inviting me to this special occasion. I would love to be at Diana's birthday party but I’m terribly sorry that I can not make it due to some deadlines at my office next week. The problem is that I’ve been promoted to the assistant manager position a few months ago and the work pressure has skyrocketed since then. The office management has assured me that I will be given an assistant soon but until that happens, I will hardly have time to spend for me. Perhaps I can visit you sometime next summer when I hope I will stay with you for a couple of days. Please share some birthday photos on Facebook so that I get a glimpse of the celebration. I owe Diana a birthday gift. Anyway, I must finish today. So thanks once again for your kind invitation and I do hope that we can get together sometime in the summer. Warm wishes, Harris
Dear Wilson,

It was great to hear from you and I’m
really
surprised that Diana has already turned to 8. It sounds as if she has grown
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
. I wish her a happy birthday and thank you for inviting me to this special occasion.

I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to be at Diana's birthday party
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I’m
terribly
sorry that I can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
deadlines at my office
next
week. The problem is that I’ve
been promoted
to the assistant manager position a few months ago and the work pressure has skyrocketed since then. The office management has assured me that I will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
an assistant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
until that happens, I will hardly have time to spend for me.

Perhaps I can visit you sometime
next
summer when I hope I will stay with you for a couple of days.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
share
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
birthday photos on Facebook
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a glimpse of the celebration. I owe Diana a birthday gift.

Anyway, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
finish
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
thanks once again for your kind invitation and I do hope that we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
together sometime in the summer.

Warm wishes,

Harris
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS letter A friend who lives in a different city has invited you to his/her daughter's 8th birthday. However, you can not accept the invitation due to some personal reasons. v. 1

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
195 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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