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You have recently moved to a different house. Now you would like to notify one of your English-speaking friends that you have moved to a different house. v.5

You have recently moved to a different house. Now you would like to notify one of your English-speaking friends that you have moved to a different house. v. 5
Dear Henry, I know it would come to you as a surprise, but I have finally moved to a new house after living in my previous house for such a long time. Of course, it was not an easy decision for me, given how much I loved that house because of its proximity to a beautiful lake and animal sanctuary, but I needed to move out of it because its owner wanted to renovate it and then sell it to some corporate businesspeople at a very handsome profit. Of course, the new house, which I moved in, is a great place because it is a lot more spacious than my previous house. Besides, the new house is built with some solid wood, which I really like, because it would help the house to keep at a comfortable temperature throughout the entire year.   So, it would mean that I would have to spend a lot less money on the electricity bill to maintain a comfortable temperature at my house unlike the old one. Besides, it is in a nice neighbourhood also. So, come and visit me sometime, possibly next weekend, because I think you would also like my new house. Warm wishes, Patrick
Dear Henry,

I know it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to you as a surprise,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I have
finally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
after living in my previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
for such a long time.
Of course
, it was not an easy decision for me,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
how much I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its proximity to a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
lake and animal sanctuary,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I needed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
out of it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
its owner wanted to renovate it and then sell it to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
corporate businesspeople at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
handsome profit.

Of course
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
, which I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
in, is a great place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is a lot more spacious than my previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
.
Besides
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
is built
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solid wood, which I
really
like,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
at a comfortable temperature throughout the entire year.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it would mean that I would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend a lot less money on the electricity bill to maintain a comfortable temperature at my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
unlike the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
one.
Besides
, it is in a nice
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
also
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
and visit me sometime,
possibly
next
weekend,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
you would
also
like my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.

Warm wishes,

Patrick
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS letter You have recently moved to a different house. Now you would like to notify one of your English-speaking friends that you have moved to a different house. v. 5

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
202 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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