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You have just rented an unfurnished flat and a friend has told you that the Opportunity Shop in the shopping centre has cheap second-hand furniture. v.2

You have just rented an unfurnished flat and a friend has told you that the Opportunity Shop in the shopping centre has cheap second-hand furniture. v. 2
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing this letter to inquire about the availability of some furniture I wish to purchase. A friend has recommended your store to me for purchasing inexpensive second-hand furniture which happens to be in the shopping centre in the Blue Bird square. I have recently purchased a flat and need some furniture. In this context, I would like to know the cost of certain items which I require for my unfurnished apartment. I would appreciate a quotation for a pair of the sofa set with two side tables, a dining table comprising of eight chairs, a centre table and items required in the bedroom like the king-size bed, a dressing table and one wooden almirah of not more than seven feet height. Please send me the best possible price which you can offer for those items. Apart from this, you must categorically mention any other cost that might incur from the purchase including the transportation cost and VAT. I have also been informed by my friend that you offer a cash discount for purchase over $500. In this respect, I would further like to inform you that I will pay the total amount in one go and purchase items more than 500 dollar's worth. So I am expecting a discount. In anticipation of an early reply. Yours faithfully, Neeraj Mehra
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing this letter to inquire about the availability of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
furniture I wish to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
. A friend has recommended your store to me for purchasing inexpensive second-hand furniture which happens to be in the shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
in the Blue Bird square. I have recently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
a flat and need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
furniture.

In this context, I would like to know the cost of certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
which I require for my unfurnished apartment. I would appreciate a quotation for a pair of the sofa set with two side
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tables
, a dining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
table
Did you mean "comprising" or "consisting of"?
comprising of
eight chairs, a
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
table
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
required in the bedroom like the king-size bed, a dressing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
table
and one wooden
Possible spelling mistake found.
almirah
of not more than seven feet height.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
me the best possible price which you can offer for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
. Apart from this, you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
categorically
mention any other cost that might incur from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
including the transportation cost and VAT.

I have
also
been informed
by my friend that you offer a cash discount for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
over $500. In this respect, I would
further
like to inform you that I will pay the total amount in one go and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
more than 500
Incorrect singular possessive form after the number (500). Did you mean "dollars" or "dollars'"?
dollar's
worth.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I am expecting a discount.

In anticipation of an early reply.

Yours
faithfully
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Neeraj
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mehra
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A new language is a new life.
Persian Proverb

IELTS letter You have just rented an unfurnished flat and a friend has told you that the Opportunity Shop in the shopping centre has cheap second-hand furniture. v. 2

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
224 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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