Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

You have just rented an unfurnished flat and a friend has told you that the Opportunity Shop in the shopping centre has cheap second-hand furniture. v.1

You have just rented an unfurnished flat and a friend has told you that the Opportunity Shop in the shopping centre has cheap second-hand furniture. v. 1
Dear Sir or Madam, I have just arrived from overseas and purchased a flat which needs some furniture. A friend has recommended me your store and told that you sell budget-friendly second-hand furniture and I am writing to inquire about a few of them that I intend to purchase. Regarding my intention to purchase furniture, I would like a single bed, a kitchen table, four chairs, a cupboard for clothes, a bookcase and a wooden cabinet. If you sell home appliances, I would like a microwave oven, a television set and a rice cooker. The furniture must be in good condition and the electronic goods must be branded products with at least six-months' valid warranty remaining. I would really appreciate if you could inform me of the availability of those items along with their prices and details. I hope you can offer a good bargain as I am looking for something cheap. If you do not supply electrical goods, can you recommend another shop which does? Also, could you let me know when can I come and inspect the items in person? I look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours faithfully, Garcia Hall
Dear Sir or Madam,

I have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
arrived from overseas and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
a flat which needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
furniture
. A friend has recommended me your store and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
that you sell budget-friendly second-hand
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
furniture and
I am writing to inquire about a few of them that I intend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
.

Regarding my intention to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
furniture
, I would like a single bed, a kitchen table, four chairs, a cupboard for clothes, a bookcase and a wooden cabinet. If you sell home appliances, I would like a microwave oven, a television set and a rice cooker. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
furniture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
condition and the electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be branded
products with at least six-months' valid warranty remaining.

I would
really
appreciate if you could inform me of the availability of those items along with their prices and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
. I hope you can offer a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
bargain as I am looking for something
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
. If you do not supply electrical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
, can you recommend another shop which does?
Also
, could you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
me know when can I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
and inspect the items in person?

I look forward to hearing from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Yours
faithfully
,

Garcia Hall
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS letter You have just rented an unfurnished flat and a friend has told you that the Opportunity Shop in the shopping centre has cheap second-hand furniture. v. 1

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
193 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts