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You recently stayed in a hotel in a large city. The weather was very unusual for the time of year and the heating/cooling system in the hotel was quite inadequate. v.1

You recently stayed in a hotel in a large city. The weather was very unusual for the time of year and the heating/cooling system in the hotel was quite inadequate. v. 1
Dear Sir or Madam, I have recently stayed at your hotel - Pan Pacific Perth, in room 324 for three nights. I am writing to inform you that the room heating was ineffectual and despite a great location and friendly staff, I have had a bad experience staying at your hotel. I am hoping you would repair the central heating system so that no guest suffers due to the extreme weather. I stayed at your hotel from 25th May till 27th May and had an excruciating experience as your heating system in my room did not work as expected. The temperature in the city was somewhat unexpected and fell below 7° Celcius during this period. When I found that the room temperature was not comfortable, I called the front desk executive and despite his promise, nothing was done. Because of the extreme cold in the room, I had to wear socks and a knit hat, take an additional blanket and put on the electric stove all night. Consequently, I got very little sleep over the three nights. I think it would be a good idea to repair the central heating system and be prepared for unusual weather. A room heating system for each room along with the central heating system in the winter would certainly make the rooms more comfortable. Perhaps you would consider giving me a discount if I stay at your hotel next time. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours faithfully, Walker Luise
Dear Sir or Madam,

I have recently stayed at your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotel
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
Pan Pacific Perth, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
324 for three nights. I am writing to inform you that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
was ineffectual and despite a great location and friendly staff, I have had a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
experience staying at your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotel
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am hoping you would repair the central
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that no guest suffers due to the extreme weather.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
stayed at your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotel
from 25th May till 27th May and had an excruciating experience as your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
did not work as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
. The temperature in the city was somewhat unexpected and fell below 7°
Possible spelling mistake found.
Celcius
during this period. When I found that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
temperature was not comfortable, I called the front desk executive and despite his promise, nothing
was done
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the extreme
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
, I had to wear socks and a knit hat, take an additional blanket and put on the electric stove all night.
Consequently
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
sleep over the three nights.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it would be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to repair the central
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
and
be prepared
for unusual weather. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
for each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
along with the central
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
in the winter would
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rooms
more comfortable. Perhaps you would consider giving me a discount if I stay at your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotel
next
time.

I look forward to hearing from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Yours
faithfully
,

Walker
Possible spelling mistake found.
Luise
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS letter You recently stayed in a hotel in a large city. The weather was very unusual for the time of year and the heating/cooling system in the hotel was quite inadequate. v. 1

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
247 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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